~ Just Drag . . . ing Along
Iíve reached what I call "the hump" in this pregnancy. I describe it best as a very long "Wednesday" lasting anywhere from a week to a month or so. In the beginning, youíre so excited about this new life growing inside you. As you approach the end of pregnancy, youíre excited because of the impending birth of the baby and youíre wondering if youíll go early, be over due, and who the baby is going to look like. And somewhere in between, itís this hump I speak of when you just feel like a blob and you wonder "what the heck did I get myself into?".
I need to get this negativity out of my life. My sleep has been much better, with about three bad days out of seven. My self-image on the other hand has really been suffering. Last week pregnancy and my growing rounding belly were beautiful. This week I feel like Iím some blimp that needs to fly over a baseball field. When I started to feel this way in my pregnancy with Psalm, we took a vacation to Florida. Since that canít happen this time around, I have a bit of pampering in store for myself this coming weekend. Hopefully, this does a bit to boost my spirits.
Brooklyn is definitely in cheerful spirits or at least it feels like it. Her little kicks and bumps help me keep things in perspective. I know in just a couple more weeks I wonít care about sleepless nights and growing waistlines. Iíll be holding a beautiful baby girl in my arms and thinking "This was definitely worth it!"
Iíve been thinking a lot about the kind of labor and delivery experience I want this time around. Last time, I had both my mom and Solomon there. His brother appeared in the room out of nowhere while I was delivering the placenta. Since I delivered Psalm at the same hospital where both my mom and myself works, the next day I had someone in the room visiting for every single visiting hour. This time I desire for things to be more intimate. I only want Solomon in the room for the actual birth. Iíd like to be moved to recovery first and have Psalm meet her little sister. After some bonding time, I think itíll be nice if the grandparents come and visit.
I donít think Iíll have so many hospital visits this time around because of the location of the hospital (the middle of metropolitan Chicago). I donít mind home visits, but I felt really frizzled trying to nurse and having everyone look at me crazy since I was the first to choose breast over bottle in my family in about 90 years. Breastfeeding is great, but itís not always so natural. Both Psalm and I had to learn how to have a good nursing session. We struggled the first few days and while visiting my family saw our struggle. I didnít really get the support to nurse from anyone in my family other than Solomon and one of my aunts. A few comments were made like "Oh! Just give her a bottle." So this time, I want time to bond and nurse in peace. Now the only problem is telling all this to my family and not hurting their feelings . . . Any suggestions???
Until next week,