Week 21 ~ May 17, 2005
~ It's a . . .
The BIG ultrasound was a few days ago and the baby is looking perfectly healthy! My date and sizes are right on target and all systems appear to be working normally. The boys talked me into finding out the sex of the baby. It's a GIRL and we are thrilled. Well, ok, let's be 100% honest here. The news came as a shock to me. Now, up to this point I have not been knocked down by psychic feelings regarding this baby's gender, or so I thought. But once I was lying on the table and the techs asked me what I thought Jellybean was, I thought boy. So when they said girl, I was completely dumbfounded and on top of it I was shocked that I was dumbfounded when I never really even thought I knew or cared one way or the other. I thought I was completely open to whatever sex Jellybean was. But my emotional gut reaction was definitely shock and bit of sadness. I thought for sure I would give my boys the baby boy they both wanted and the baby boy that I felt really ready and prepared to raise. So, I did shed a tear or two, I must admit. I am a bit ashamed of that now that days have gone by and the emotion of the moment has worn off, because now I am so excited to have a baby girl that I am starting to worry that the techs and the doctor were wrong. Isn't the pregnancy emotional roller coaster fun?!! I can't wait to raise a girl, especially if I can do half the job my mom did; she and I have been best friends forever (even through the rough spots of the teenage years). The boys are excited, too. And they took even less time than I did to get into the 'girl' thing!! All it took for Josh was me pointing out how he already knows how to be a big brother to a sister and that with this one he will be so much older that he will really have fun being the big brother when little sister starts dating! He got a big kick out of that perspective!
I am still doing great with my energy level and I am happily noticing that my diet is pretty much back to normal. I am not experiencing any cravings and I am not hungry all the time like I was in the first trimester. The weight gain has actually tapered off a bit, phew! This is not to say that I haven't indulged in the occasional bag of Peanut M&M's when the urge strikes, I mean if not now then when, right?!
My back (low back) has been really hurting so I broke down and went to a chiropractor. My first treatment was only three days ago and I have seen lot of improvement, but it is not perfect. He did point out something I have secretly feared, but known, all along and that is I need to wear my tennis shoes with special lift on them all the time, even at work. For my entire life I have only worn them when I would normally wear them, after work with jeans, etc. In the summer I wear them interspersed with normal (no lift) sandals and flip flops. And certainly at work, with my professional attire I wear normal (no lift) heels and such. So once my back started hurting without any subsidence or signs of relief I kinda knew I should be wearing my corrective tennis shoes ALL the time. So for two days now I have had them on at work and I feel a bit self-conscious but it is helping so vanity is losing out to comfort slowly but surely. Anyway, we will see what the chiropractor has to say when I go back for my follow up appointment tomorrow. I have never been to a chiropractor before, but my yoga instructor recommended him as someone who regularly works on pregnant women. He was very friendly and really took the time to explain things thoroughly.
On another note, for the benefit of other pregnant women reading this journal, I need to say something very important, so listen up. If your husband or significant other, bless their hearts, decide to tackle the most important feat of quitting smoking while you are pregnant RUN! Duck and Cover! Make plans to take a solo vacation or hole up with a girlfriend for a while! My husband decided to quit last week and while I am SOOOO happy, it has been more challenging than dealing with morning sickness. A pregnant woman and an addict kicking the nicotine habit in one house is a combination that is likely to alter the earth's rotation or something! All joking aside, and it is significantly improving already, he has really tried my patience and I found myself wondering where my supportive husband disappeared to. One thing that I shouldn't have done last week, but I am pretty oblivious sometimes, was to bring up my desire to have him help me decide what kind of approach and colors to take with the nursery. I mentioned something as simple as wanting to save us some much needed cash by buying used furniture and refurbishing, which has the glorious fringe benefit of giving me a project to delve into for the baby while we are anxiously awaiting her arrival, and something to take my mind off of the pregnancy related aches and pains, and he questions the need to even do a nursery or buy a crib before the baby gets here, cause 'the baby's not going to be in the nursery right away anyway'. My incredulous retort to that is, so when we are in the throws of caring for a newborn and surviving on 3-5 hours of intermittent sleep a night we are going to try to decorate a nursery, buy a crib, etc? And the whole time we were at the store (I was trying to get décor ideas) he was antsy, uncomfortable and complaining. I got so upset when really I shouldn't even have brought it up in the first place and I NEVER should have dragged to him to a baby store. What was I thinking?!! The poor guy was dealing with so much and then I go and bring up 'baby stuff'. I keep forgetting that he does not have this growing life inside him, kicking and pushing on him, causing him to constantly be thinking 'baby', like I do. So of course he isn't in the same place that I am.
I know my understanding husband is coming back to me; I can already see it happening. He has suggested we plan a 'date night' this Friday night. I have full faith that as my best friend and mate for life, he will soon be excited and have fun planning these things with me. Preparing for a baby is, after all, one of life's greatest adventures and don't guys love rebuilding and refurbishing stuff? It's a great excuse to buy some new tools, right?!
Until next week!