Week 22 ~ May 25, 2005
~ THAT Physical Need
Well not much new to report, thank goodness. Jellybean and I are just cruising along enjoying the 'honeymoon period' for the most part. She is moving all the time now, and she has grown so much that I don't just feel the big kicks anymore. I can feel all sorts of funny movements. She has kicked my bladder and various other internal parts which all feels very weird and momentarily painful occasionally. When she hits the bladder it's like, 'oh, I'm gonna pee my pants!' and then just a quickly 'oh, it's passed!; then she kicks again in the same spot (as is her M.O.) and it's like 'gotta pee 'no I don't', 'gotta pee' 'no I don't'. You get the picture.
This week was better than last, in that Nic is over the hump of kicking his habit! He is doing great! And it helps that he and I are both very busy at work right now. It kind of gives us some space and at the same time we are really missing each other. So when we are able to reconnect it is going to be great. I was a bit moody after the episodes last week and was feeling a little like the pregnancy was low on Nic's radar screen but time has given me perspective (and I am sure that hormonal surges play a little part too!) and everything feels fine again.
My back (just one little spot in my very low back - sacroiliac) on the left (my shorter side) hurts often. The chiropractor unstuck it; it was painfully stuck. Now it just aches whenever I don't wear my lift shoes (that's what I call my corrective tennis shoes). Even when I walk around the house I have to have them on or walk with my left foot on a tip-toe. During the day I am fine, but on my walks it kills and same with the evening time at home. I am hoping that I just caused some muscle damage when it was stuck and now that its not stuck it will heal. I suppose I should go back to the chiropractor, though. He also suggested icing it in the evenings, and I haven't done that. What am I supposed to do sit on a bag of ice?? How uncomfortable. Anyway, I think I am lucky if that is my only physical complaint, and it is!
There is something else that I have been noticing for a couple of weeks now but hesitated to mention in my journal because of the personal nature (and because my Dad and brother read this). But now that I see it is not going away I feel obligated to discuss it because the purpose of the journal is not just for my memories but for all the women out there wondering if what they are experiencing is normal, and I know you are out there because you email me (thanks, by the way, I enjoy your emails). So skip this paragraph, Dad and Steven! Here it is... when I was skimming the book I bought my husband about pregnancy (She's Having a Baby and I'm Having a Break Down) back in the first trimester I came across a section that informed my husband that in the second trimester I would be telling all my girlfriends how horny I am and that he should take advantage when the moment was there. I remember thinking 'Yeah, right! Sex? No way!!' I was really nauseous and drop dead tired at the time, remember? Well, ladies, hate to say it but I was wrong and the book was right! I have been sooooo physically excited for the last few weeks. It is so bizarre, because it almost feels like a true physical need. Like I need to have it right now or else! I don't know about you, but all of my life up to this point sex has been great, but not something I absolutely had to have at any moment. It was always more about love and wanting to be with my partner that way, which was where the turn-on lay. Now?? No way, it is all about need. My husband thinks its funny 'Baby', he says, 'Now you know how guys feel all day everyday!' So needless to say it is a weird feeling, but par for the course as most books will reveal. My husband and I are happy to be normal in this respect!
Another doctor's appointment coming up tomorrow! Can't wait to hear Jellybean's heartbeat again!