~ A Heaving I Will Go . . .
Hello all! Based on my title this week I am sure you can tell how things have been since I last wrote. It is so horribly embarrassing. I gag and heave without warning. I don't feel particularly nauseous and then out of nowhere heave, heave. I used to think it had something to do with eating, but no . . . I eat, I don't eat, it still happens. I have yet to find any particular trigger. Well other than the most obvious, I AM PREGNANT.
It seems everywhere I go I see pregnant women who ooze about how wonderful pregnancy is on their bodies and how much better they feel pregnant. I love what pregnancy yields, but I would be just as happy if I could skip the next 6 months. Did I mention that one of those oozing, happy pregnant ladies is my younger sister? Yes, my sister is due September 9th and she told me just yesterday how much her body LOVES being pregnant. I am sure I was only mildly jealous as I felt another attack coming on and I tried hard not to heave in her ear. Mere weeks from her due date and waddling along and here she is filled with all this exuberance. Don't get me wrong I would never want her to be miserable, but why can't I feel that good?
My first pregnancy was an uneventful first trimester with an absolutely miserable second trimester plagued by what they believed was a bad gall bladder that kept me unable to sit down, lay down or get comfortable and then miraculously once I entered my third trimester the pain stopped and the last part was actually the easiest. But this glow, this overflowing joy that radiates from some women escaped me with Trysta and seems to be non-existent this time as well. And I was so happy to be having Trysta and I am happy now about my second child but somehow my body and mind can't connect. I feel like an alien in my own body and well it is impossible to feel sunny when you are losing the battle.