I assumed my doctorís appointment would be as uneventful as normal. However, this was not to be the case. I was dreading the appointment because I was sure that now that I was back to visiting the Annapolis office I would be there for hours. However, to my surprise I was called in rather quickly and my blood pressure was GREAT. I admit I had been having some pain but I kept attributing it to overdoing things. The odd thing is that walking always made me feel better with Trysta but with Tyler a trip around the mall would cause misery until I was able to sit down. I honestly believed it was irrelevant and wasnít going to mention it but the nurse kept telling me how rundown I looked and asking if I was having any pain. Well, I wasnít going to lie; I figured they would have a quick explanation and that would be that. The nurse thought it better that the doctor do a cervical exam. I got the vibe the doctor didnít really expect to find anything, but there it was . . . I was 2cm dilated and only 31 weeks. She started talking bedrest and sending me over for a stress test to determine if I was having contractions which I was sure I wasnít having. I had managed to get my doctorís appointment moved to the day before Christmas Eve because I was concerned about the wait and with my office closing half a day, I didnít want to miss time in the office on the short day. My husband and daughter werenít due back until Christmas Eve and I admit the word bedrest had me stressing quite a bit. I wasnít due to go out of work until February 12th and here we were the 23rd of December. Due to the holiday and the fact that I was going to be off most of the next five days my doctor and I agreed I would go over for monitoring and I would then come back on Monday and we would discuss bedrest further.
I made the round of calls to my husband, work and my mother as I headed over to Labor and Delivery to be monitored. My husband cut his trip short and started the 6 hour drive back which made me feel incredibly guilty as he hadnít seen all of the people he had planned to visit. I insisted he stay, but deep down I knew I wanted him to insist he was coming home. I had to cancel my holiday plans to head to the Outer Banks since a 6 hour drive and visiting multiple family members was the last thing the doctor wanted me to do. I was most depressed by how everything seemed to be unraveling in such a short timeframe. My doctorís office is part of the hospital so it is a few yards to L&D. While I was waiting to be hooked up to the machines I waited in a tented area where unfortunately I could hear everything and everyoneís personal story going on around me. You try not to listen but with nothing to do and everyone talking as loudly as they are in front of you it is hard to not hear. The girl beside me was 30 weeks--only one week behind me--and she was finding out mere inches from me that her baby girl had stopped moving and they couldnít find a heart beat. It would make the coldest of people tear up but as a pregnant woman I silently cried beside her aching for her loss and not understanding how she would even get through this and only two days before Christmas. My son kept kicking me as if to reassure me he was okay which was a relief but made me feel guilty all at the same time.
Minutes later I was moved to a room and hooked to a machine but I couldnít shake her crying from my head. I donít think I ever will. I was hooked to the machine and monitored for over 2 hours and the heart was great and while there were a couple blips on the contraction front nothing major or to cause any concern I was in labor. I was released with instructions to take it easy and to return to my doctor on Monday unless I noticed the typical list of indicators. It was well after 3 by the time I finished and all I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed. But I needed to be prepared; if things didnít improve and my doctor really put me on bedrest there were things that needed to be taken care of.
I headed to the office to pick up presents I had delivered to work so my husband and Trystaís little spying eyes wouldnít see them. I cleaned up paperwork on my desk and met with my boss so we could work out a game plan. I am fortunate that I can work from bed but I knew that the minute I called her she would already be dispersing my work load. My assistant was off and had been notified and in a major panic at the idea she would now be filling my roll so much earlier. I kept insisting Monday I would find out it was just a weird fluke and they would let me continue to work, but they were all in worst case scenario gear and there was no changing their minds. Going into the office was like finding another three mothers I wasnít aware I had and when you feel fine, people hovering and not letting you do anything drives me insane. I spent 30 minutes trying to convince my boss who was taking vacation the 24th to January 5th that I was fine and could come in for the four hours to get things in order just in case the next day.
After, catching up on email and loading my presents I headed home feeling exhausted and worn out and crawling in to bed was looking better and better. My husband was hitting bad weather on his ride and it became evident he wouldnít be home till close to 11 which allowed me time to wrap his presents before he got in to town. Oddly, even this small task seemed overwhelming, but I broke it up in pieces and finally managed to get his and the presents from Mommy and Daddy for Trysta wrapped and under the tree. It was after 11 before they finally got home, but I canít even begin to explain how happy I was to have them home. I donít think there is anything in this world that can put a smile on my face like the excitement on my daughterís face when she sees me. I dread the day she grows up and seeing mommy is hardly such a joy so I bask in every moment I get.
I plan to spend the next five days being very good. My mother is coming to town on Friday since I canít go home for Christmas so I am sure between her and my husband they will keep me in line. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and keep your fingers crossed I donít get put on bedrest. My journals may become the rantings of a crazy lady with too much down time!
Till next week . . .