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Ciara's parenting journal

Entry 6
~ Looking Up!

DylanWe are very excited for this Friday which will be the day Dylan turns 6 months old! A whole half a year! It's been crazy fun so far. Dylan is eating more and more. He has cereal in the morning and veggies or fruit for dinner. We are trying a new dinner fruit or veggie each week. He has had peas (liked them), pears (loved them!) and tonight he will have carrots! We are so silly taking pictures of every new food he eats. I got a very funny video of him trying to eat the empty bowl.

Lately Dylan is fond of yelling! It was cute at first but sometimes it is rather loud and obnoxious. When he is tired of doing anything like eating, playing on the floor, playing in his bouncy chair or whatever he will scream! It sounds like a dying bird. We thought he was out of the screaming phase but I guess not! It's funny because I'm trying not to laugh when he does it. Instead I scrunch up my face and shake my head "no". I think he's confused when he sees me do this new face he has never seen before.

Dylan has also learned how to throw a tantrum whenever we don't jump up to the screaming right away. If he's in his chair he will wiggle and fuss until he's hanging halfway out of it! We always take care of his needs, of course, but we are trying to teach him patience. Are we crazy for trying? Probably.

DylanLast night I tried putting him to bed earlier because he was yawning and cranky. Right as I was about to pump I heard him crying. So I ran upstairs (hurray for exercise) and picked him up because he was so upset. We rocked for a few minutes and his little arms were wrapped around me and clutching onto me. I really felt special just then while he snuggled up to me. It's so incredible how much love I have for our little boy, and how much trust and love he gives in return. It is truly wonderful.

One fun thing I like to do is take Dylan to Target with me. For some reason he just loves going. I get my Starbucks drink and we lazily walk around the store. I take him down toy aisles and show him all sorts of toys. Dylan isn't big enough for most of them but I help him press buttons. We wonder over to the baby toys and I show him every toy I think he might like. Whichever toy he smiles big for he gets. This past time we went and I let him hold onto a monkey toy. I noticed another toy and picked it up to show him. Then I turn back to see he was munching on the monkey toy! He had the corner of the cardboard package soaked in his slobber after 3 seconds!

There is this one song that I "bum" (you know: "bum bummmm buh bummm") that he loves. It's strangely from the movie Kill Bill (the whistled song Twisted Nerve by Bernard Herrmann so Google search tells me) and he loves it when I sing it anytime but especially in Target. I play with his feet and sing and get the biggest smiles out of him. It's really just a special time for mommy and baby to spend together.

DylanDuring our time out John stays at home usually but this day he was at his dad's house making a toy box. Apparently it is a tradition in their family. Dylan's toy box will be pretty big, and look like a treasure chest. I think it's super cute that they are building it for him. It also gives John time to hang out with his dad, and just relax for a while.

I can't believe I got this far without telling the big news! Our offer on a house was accepted!! We are so excited. Not only is this house big and beautiful, but it is close to John's dad, close to my parents, in a great neighborhood, and we got it for a great price. Finally, after looking at so many places and getting our hopes dashed plenty of times, we will become homeowners. It will be great to pay a low mortgage instead of the expensive renting we have been doing. Also, to have so much space! And no more stairs! We are beyond tired of stairs!

This really opens up a great opportunity for me too. Once we are moved in I plan to stay home and have a mini daycare. There are plenty of people here at my work that would love for someone they know to watch their kids. I figure I will just watch 2 or 3 kids a week. Then I can finally be home with Dylan all the time! I know it is hard work but it would really make me happy. I absolutely love kids. John is a little unsure about having kids running around the house but I am sure we could make it work.

It takes about 45 days to close on a house. Hopefully next time I write I will be in the middle of packing! I have seriously had to restrain myself from packing already! We have had loads of boxes for months now (since before Dylan was born) and I can't wait to fill them up and get out of there!

DylanWe are going to have some fun later this week as the Florida State Fair is coming! I am taking a day off work so we can go. We are looking forward to all the goodies to eat, things to see, and maybe baby rides for Dylan. We got Dylan a floppy hat to protect against the sun. Lately it has been rainy and gloomy but forecasts show bright sunshine on the day we are going. That's a good omen that we are meant to go have fun!

In other news, (what am I a news anchor?) I went to see a counselor last week. I had to see the counselor so she could refer me to the psychiatrist. The counselor was nice and really easy to talk to. We went over my symptoms of depression, anxiety, and etc in detail and then talked about where I felt all this came from. It was actually very helpful. She gave me some interesting things to think about. I felt silly going there at first but when I left I just felt good. It was like a healing process had begun inside.

Today I go to the doctor so he can hopefully prescribe me more Zoloft. I have noticed a definite difference in myself since taking the medication. It doesn't make all the issues go away but it does lessen my anxiety, helps me sleep, and I don't "drown" anymore. Sometimes before I felt so low in my depressed mood like I was struggling to reach the surface and just couldn't. Now my moods are normal and I haven't just been sad for no reason. I haven't even cried in weeks. It's really quite amazing and a relief to feel good again.

Things are looking up for sure!

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