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Ciara's Pregnancy Journal

Introduction
~ Meet Ciara

Hello to all! My name is Ciara. This is my first journey on the Grand Adventure of pregnancy. I am excited, scared, and most of the time lately in my "Happy Place" where none of these changes are really happening. My fiancÚ John is The Best. I'm serious. If I didn't have him I could not do this. We have been together since June 9, 2006. We have had ups and downs like any other relationship. I can't say that it was planned and I can't say it wasn't.

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and a Bicornuate uterus. Basically my ovaries are covered (I've seen them) with little cysts. My uterus is shaped like a heart or mitten. I always knew that something was "off" with me. I don't have regular periods. Sometimes I would have four in one year! In January of 2009 my new gynecologist decided to find out why. She told me it would be extremely difficult to have children and that I might not even have any at all. I was heartbroken. I drove home crying. John and I sat down on the couch and talked over the options. I've always wanted children. I had been off birth control for over a year and we wondered if something was wrong. Now we had to face the facts.

There were some serious issues in my family going on which ended in me not speaking to my mother and step-dad sometime around March. I had decided that they caused stress in my life more than I could stand and I wasn't going to have it anymore. The rest of the year went by peacefully in their absence. Then as Christmas came closer and closer I started to feel funny. I thought it was because Christmas is a big deal for my mother and maybe this was my conscience telling me I needed to open up communication with them again. I weighed the options and just couldn't stand to let that pain back into my life.

I was really nauseous starting on Christmas Eve and on December 30th I threw up before going to work. I should explain here that I work in a big office. John's mom, sister, and aunt all work in the same office as me. Daily John's mom Sherry comes over to ask how "her boy" is and her "grandbabies" (which are our two adorable cats Da Vinci and Mona Lisa). So this day was no different except that I felt terrible and was disappointed because normally throwing up makes you feel better. Sherry sees right away that I am not shining my brightest and when I explain what's wrong she starts rubbing her belly and lifting her eyebrows. This was the reaction I got from all my work friends. Instead of getting my hopes up (again) I just blush and say "who knows?".

Pregnancy TestThrough some manner of miscalculation I found out that I had vacation time to use (2 hours!) and I happily left at 2:30 with the intention of going home and taking a pregnancy test. Upon arriving at home I find John is in the shower because he luckily got off work early too. After communicating through text messages all day he knew of the "eyebrow lifting" but we both were a little doubtful. So to get it over with and start my grieving quickly, I did my business with the stick and sat on the counter like I normally do while John finishes his shower and we tell each other about our days. When John emerges he quickly looks at the test and states "It's a plus sign." And like any other male with these things: "what does the plus sign mean??". Though it shows right on the stick that a plus sign is positive I patiently explain it to him. By the way, he's not stupid. At this point we are both in a numb state of shock!

Pregnancy TestThat day was grocery day so I insisted we go to the store and find bland things I could eat and get a pregnancy test that says "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant" just to be sure because I'm having a hard time believing this is true. On the way John calls his best friend Will to tell him the good news that he is going to be an uncle and Will doesn't believe us. He thinks we're joking! Because oddly enough John was just talking to him the night before about needing to do stuff before we have kids and settle down. Unfortunately the grocery store does not have the exact test I am looking for and so we stop at Walmart after grocery shopping and grab the first digital one we see. We got home quickly and John insists I hurry up and take the test. I am not a frequent bathroom person so I barely have anything to offer to the stick but I did it anyway. I set the test on the counter like it was a hot potato and went in the kitchen to finish unloading groceries. "How long will it take?" John asks me. I told him it was a few minutes. While I put away food nonchalantly (trying not to think about the test sitting in there deciding our fate) John goes to the bathroom.

He says "Uh . . . babe I think you should come look." I replied, "Just tell me, I can't look." He comes into the kitchen holding it in both his hands and looking at me sadly. He says "I just want you to know that no matter what I love you." I start to be worried and he adds "especially because you are going to be the mother of my child!"

Phone calls, text messages, and picture messages of the pregnancy test . . .

John's mom was late to finding out since she was out shopping. When she finally called it was 8 or 9 o'clock at night. John asked her "How do you feel about being a grandma?" and she didn't believe it! Plus she was angry we would call her with news like that! So we had to hop in the car and drive over to her house to show her the test.

ringThe next day was the 31st and I went into work for some overtime. After I came home and lay on the couch--still feeling nauseous--John said he needed to go out for a while and would be back. Very suspicious! So I relaxed and watched chic flicks for some time until he came home (even more suspicious--with nothing!). It was New Year's Eve but with me feeling ill we just stayed at home. Both of us fell asleep on the couch. I woke up about 20 minutes before midnight and decided the couch was not very comfy anymore. So I woke John and told him we should just go to bed. He insisted we stay up for a little while longer and watch the 2010 ball drop so I agreed. Why not? This was going to be a very "New" year for us. As the ball started to fall we both stood up to hug and kiss our way into the New Year . . . and John dropped down on one knee. A ring had magically been produced from his pocket (was it really in there the whole time we were napping?) and he asked me to marry him! I was shocked. I'm not even sure what I said besides I kept telling him to "stand up, stand up". The room was getting blurry and my knees were weak. The ring was put on my finger. We hugged, kissed, and sat down! I still can't believe how nervous he was (like my answer would be anything other than yes!). So the next day there were more phone calls to tell everyone not only are we having a baby, but we are engaged too! What a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ciara


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