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Ciara's Pregnancy Journal

Week 23
~ Answers Unknown

Every now and again I feel panic settle in for a few minutes when I think--how am I going to care for my baby??

Our town home is too small and two stories. We are looking around to buy a house or rent something cheaper. I'm not able to nest and make a baby room since we are planning on moving. It's really frustrating.

We just moved to the town home in September and now we'll have to go through the whole moving process again! This time I'm pregnant and won't be able to lift anything. All the packing hurt my back before; I can't imagine how I'm going to feel now.

The plan is for me to stop working after Dylan is born. We really do not have any family members that can watch him and do not feel comfortable leaving him with strangers. Plus, I don't want to miss anything. We just got a camcorder so I can record every cute thing that he does (so basically every minute of every day).

Also, child care costs so much money nowadays. It would be most of my paycheck for the month! But we can't live off of only John's income. I need to get into a work from home job or work nights somewhere (which would be really difficult for us).

We are planning to get married before Dylan is born. John wanted a nice small wedding with family but after I looked up the cost of everything, it just isn't practical. I would rather save our money and just go down to the courthouse to be married.

I keep trying to tell myself that the answers to all this will come and I need to just take one thing at a time. But really it is so scary thinking that I'm more than halfway through with my pregnancy and the road ahead is so foggy!

I guess I will just try to relax and do my best to work through all this.


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