Entry 1 ~ October 12, 2011
~ Catching Up
Hello everyone, it has definitely been an exciting 10 months since I shared my pregnancy journey with you and gave birth to Bohdy back in December. Looking back, I wish I had started writing a parenting journal right from the start. It would have been great to look back one day and remember the events that happened in our lives each month, but better late than never.
Bohdy is now 10 months old and he is the most wonderful little person that has ever come into my life. Boy has he changed me, I hope for the better. Nowadays I hear about these horrible child abuse or neglect stories and it just angers me and breaks my heart. I have no idea why some of the worst people in the world end up being parents. I guess motherhood isn't for everyone, but it IS definitely for me!!!
I cannot believe how time has flown. It has been exciting watching him grow and laugh, begin to talk and crawl and most recently trying to walk (with assistance still however). And wow in just two months I'll be celebrating his first birthday.
Where to begin, I guess I'll start from the beginning. Bringing him home that first day was very scary, as I had no idea what to do or expect. Since I had experienced a few too many losses I was so frightened of losing him too, but we made it home uneventfully and that was when this amazing journey of motherhood began.
I remember people telling me early on to get as much sleep as possible, but nothing can quite prepare you for those first couple months of little sleep regardless of how prepared you think you are. That was rough, but I really didn't mind it most of the time because every lost moment of sleep just meant more time I had to hold and rock my little boy.
Another thing that I found extremely difficult was breastfeeding. I just couldn't seem to get it when we were in the hospital so I only bottle-fed him. Then when we got home, I immediately began trying to breastfeed where I felt more comfortable. I spent the first couple months struggling during the breastfeeding process through some painful attempts and an infection in which I had to use medicine on my nipples, but I kept at it and by the third month the pain was gone and we finally had a routine. I am so glad I stuck with it; it has been so worth it and I am just now starting to wean. Now that he has 6 teeth, I think we're ready to move to formula most of the time.
Watching him grow, I can see he definitely looks more like his father; however, his personality is more similar to mine. He is actually quite independent and very easy to please, he makes motherhood a breeze; he has always easily transitioned back and forth between the breast and the bottle, he has very little need for pacifiers unless he is practicing his throwing and he is completely content sleeping in his crib, no matter how often I place him in bed with us. His daycare mommies say he is definitely the leader in the group.
Daycare . . . yeah that was a hard one for me. Even though I only work part-time, it was still heart wrenching. I got to stay home on Maternity Leave for the first three months and seriously considered staying home permanently but decided going back to work was the best thing for both of us. I know they are more expensive than an individual, but I decided on a well known Day Care Center as I just felt more comfortable leaving Bohdy at a place with two infant teachers and other babies/kids than with a stranger at that stranger's house. I also chose the Center because it is a mere block from work, really convenient for me to stop by at lunch when I feel the need. While it is a center, it never gets overwhelmed with babies so Bohdy gets a ton of personal time and he comes home pretty frequently with hand and foot paintings for mommy and daddy. They have always had an open door policy and most importantly they are so great to Bohdy. I am happy I chose the place I did. I only cried that first day and by the third week everything was okay. Actually he loves daycare and when I get ready to leave each morning he usually doesn't even notice; he's too consumed with the toys or his other baby friends (luckily I don't take it personally).
One emotion I am a bit embarrassed to admit, but I do experience, is I feel territorial with him, especially towards my mother and mother-in-law. I don't exactly know why but it started almost immediately and I just don't want to share my time with him. I thought before he was born that I would feel like he was the whole family's baby, and that I'd welcome the help and company but right after he was born that changed and I feel like he's my baby and they're intruding. Maybe it is my way of developing boundaries or maybe I'm just being petty. Either way, the feeling exists. At least I can say it has slowly been subsiding the older he gets.
I cannot say enough how lucky I am. Not only did I have an easy pregnancy AND birth, but the last 10 months have been just a joy. He rarely is unhappy. He loves to give hugs and kisses and he makes my life better than it has ever been. I can say without a doubt I haven't had a single bad day in the last 10 months. Being is Mom is the best job in the world!!!