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Entry 4 - February 5, 2012
The Holiday Season Is Finally Over

Sorry for not posting any pictures for this entry, we cannot find the USB that has all our Christmas pictures . . .

So Christmas has come and gone and while a part of me misses seeing the city lit up in lights and decorations, I am also glad it has passed. I am amazed how some women are supermoms and can do so much with multiple children, I only have one, and I just felt so overwhelmed. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas we prepare a huge Thanksgiving Dinner for the fam, then comes my birthday, then Bohdy's birthday (and Baylee's although we don't have a party to celebrate hers), we attend a few traditional outings to enjoy the Christmas Lights or Christmas themed events and then Christmas all within a one month time frame and it is just exhausting. I was so over it by December 13th after Bohdy's birthday.

When you are wrapping presents, decorating the tree, shopping and everything else with a one year old, it just doesn't go smoothly, but to be honest, I don't think any of us mothers would have it any other way. We have been so busy that we didn't get our tree until December 20th. We put it on a table so Bohdy's busy little fingers wouldn't be pulling it down. I also didn't finish wrapping presents until Christmas Eve day as I was only able to really focus on wrapping presents after Bohdy went down for the night. On Christmas Eve night we had to drive about two hours to visit my family (plus two more for the car ride home) and then the same scenario to visit Jeramy's family on Christmas Day. You know, I guess if you don't have kids you really have no idea how taxing this can be, so I don't think I will give in to the family guilt trips until Bohdy's older of course . Next year we will do what works best for us and everyone else is just going to have to be okay with it.

Like every other big holiday, I keep saying, there is always so much pre holiday drama but the day itself generally turns out wonderful and once again there was quite a bit of pre holiday drama. I usually tend to fall under the radar and stay out of it, but both Thanksgiving and Christmas, I was unwillingly dragged into it. Christmas was very nice with both families and both days were drama free (relief). On top of that everyone has been spoiling Bohdy rotten. He has more toys than a one year old should have. I initially had a big area in my living room dedicated to his toy area but that has grown huge and I now have other stuff of his spilling over to other parts of the living room. I guess the baby has officially taken over.

Bohdy is definitely in the stage where he is very clingy to me. I must say I don't really mind it, but sometimes it can be difficult, like when I just want to go to the bathroom (without an audience) or take a shower. These days, if Jeramy is at work, I can only shower when (or more accurately IF) Bohdy goes down for a nap or I don't shower at all. Sometimes, if I really have to go somewhere, then I will put his walker in the bathroom with me so I can shower, however he will cry if he can't see me.

Now that Bohdy is a year old and walking, he made the transition from the infant room into the toddler room. In the toddler room, they get to do so much more, like go outside and play and all sorts of other activities, however so far he hasn't been happy about the move. He used to love going to day care, but now when I drop him off, he cries, and it just makes me so sad. His previous daycare mommies said that he will cry if he sees them too and on the rare occasions that he gets to hang back in the infant room he is happy. I think he really misses the one on one attention he used to get, which he doesn't get anymore. He was also supposed to transition over to the toddler room at the same time as one of his friends but unfortunately she left the center so he had to transition by himself so he didn't have any friends. I know he is doing okay, but it's hard to see him unhappy, even if it is briefly.

So I have been thinking a lot lately that I really want to have another baby. In fact, I would love to have a few more, but my age may be a deciding factor in that desire being a reality. I realized I wanted another baby almost instantly after Bohdy was born, but I wanted to focus on being a new mom and he needed my attention more than me focusing on a new pregnancy (since I will always be considered High Risk). Now that he is 1 and I haven't been breast feeding for about two months, I would like to start working on expanding our family. I guess it seems as though I get pregnant easy given the multiple miscarriages and the 3 month gap between Baylee and getting pregnant with Bohdy, but that was actually just a completely unexpected miracle. In fact it has taken me more than a year (when actively trying) to get pregnant every time. I hope it isn't the same this time around because I would really like to get pregnant again sometime in 2012, so fingers crossed. It's ironic how when you are in the final stretch of your pregnancy you can't wait for the pregnancy to be over and to see that little baby, but once it's over and as the time passes, you find yourself missing being pregnant more and more.

I do have a small worry of how Bohdy would initially handle another baby as he has been my whole world this last year and would he be okay having to share my attention, but then I think how I was an only child and would have loved having a sibling to grow up with, so in the long run I think he'll be happy. He LOVES his older brother, but there is such an age gap that he won't really grow up having his brother around every day. Even as I think about how much I want another baby, I feel tremendously blessed to have Bohdy, so if at the end of the day he is the only one, I am completely okay with it, another baby would just be a bonus.

Happy 2012, I hope it's a great year for all of us!!

Danielle

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