~ Family Headaches
I spent the weekend with my cousin since she was feeling like I was ignoring her. Sometimes I think family doesn't understand the kind of stress you may be under and they are great at adding more. Not that I haven't wanted to spend time with her, because I do, I just haven't spent much time with anyone other than Jeramy during this pregnancy. I have wanted it that way for a reason, although we had a great visit and I'm glad I went. Last pregnancy I let my family have a lot of involvement during my pregnancy and it was just too difficult to have to think of their feelings when we lost Baylee. Maybe I'm being selfish as I am keeping them at a distance during this pregnancy and I haven't let anyone get very involved but it makes it so much easier on Jeramy and me.
I know they mean well but I'm sure many of you know family can be more pushy and opinionated than friends and acquaintances and I just don't want to hear it. I feel like I have enough stress on my plate that the last thing I want to hear is I don't care about them cause I don't make enough time with them or the big one is constantly criticizing my diet. I really don't want to hear my mom say another thing about what she thinks I should be eating. The reality is I'm not a vegan like my mom or vegetarian and I'm tired of listening to what I should be eating. My diet may not be perfect but I'm working hard the way I know how at trying to keep myself healthy. I don't cheat and eat sugary or high carbohydrate meals that may be harmful to the baby so I wish people would just leave me the heck alone (to put it nicely).
The funny thing is, I have never been one to take advice. I have always made my own choices and done as I saw fit, yet the older I get the more opinionated they get. I actually got into an argument with my mom about food and she ended up saying 'Well it's your choice'. Well duh!! My response was 'It is my choice and I'll do what I want'. They know full well I'm going to choose what I want to do anyway so why nag me to death.
Okay, enough complaining, actually, I have always considered myself very fortunate to have the family I do. They are a wonderful supportive family who has always been there and I love them dearly. I just had to vent to get it off my chest and move on. I'm sure I get on their nerves equally (or most likely even more because I am ridiculously stubborn). We definitely aren't a traditional or "normal" bunch, but I wouldn't switch my family for anyone's. When I first met my now stepson when he was 8, he was so reserved and shy, but I do believe his introduction to my crazy family is what brought him out of his shell. When this baby is here and we are able to bring him home I want them to be a huge part of his life, I just want to keep the pregnancy and I guarded until that time.