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Denise's Pregnancy Journal

Week 38
~ I Made It!

Hooray! I made it and didn't have this baby before my parents got home. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted and now maybe I can relax. They got home on Wednesday night and they had a wonderful time. I've seen just a few pictures and from what I can tell New Zealand is a little piece of heaven on earth. They had a wonderful time, but I know that my Mom was getting anxious to get home before I had this baby. We had a rough start at the beginning of the week with a 24 hour stomach bug and Tanner got hit the hardest. I felt so sorry for the little guy; he just looked at me like Mommy make it go away, and believe me if I could've I would have. But then I was so afraid I was going to go into labor and worried about which sibling I was going to dump my vomiting kid on! Fortunately, I didn't and we are all better now.

I went to the doctor on Wednesday and I'm up to 80% effacement and 2.5 dilation. She even said that if I wanted to sign up for induction on Friday 12/12 I could. I was little taken back by the suggestion but I guess since I'm progressing so well and the baby is so low, she felt comfortable with it. I, however, was not quite ready. I mean, I'm miserable with all the swelling, pain, pressure, lack of sleep (I could go on and on) but I'm not at that point just yet. I feel that I want nature to take its course for a little bit longer unless there was some sort of threat to the baby or myself. So I told her I would wait and see her at my next appointment on Wednesday the 17th and THEN we can talk about being induced.

Again, I can tell that Dereck and Tanner are both ready for this baby to come, because my patience right now is ZERO. I'm snapping, yelling and just all around irritable and that's just at home. I feel so bad about how quickly I lose it. I'm really trying to keep it under control, but I'm just sooooo tired and a 3.5 year old boy has more energy packed in that little body than should be allowed. Dereck's been good about trying to step in when he can tell that I'm about to snap, but then I feel so bad for how I've acted. I could tell that at the end of last week of work, I was really getting snappy with customers and even co-workers. I really thought I would have the baby this weekend and was ready not to be at work this coming week, but, obviously it's just not time yet. I'm hoping that we'll be really busy this week before Christmas and the week will fly by.

I have two gifts left to buy and that's it. My goal is to get out today pick them up and get them under the tree tonight and be done with it all. Tanner is getting really excited about Santa and Baby Jesus coming. But he's convinced that both will come before the baby, which I'm not so sure at the rate I'm moving. And the other issue (well two to be exact) is that Tanner won't even acknowledge the idea of a sister coming home. He swears it's a boy and that a girl is yuck and will take his toys. Secondly, Dereck and I cannot agree on a name! We are both at opposite ends of what we like and haven't found one that we really like together. Again, I really feel like it's going to be another boy, but what if I'm wrong and we're at the hospital with no girl's name for our little girl? I would hate to come up with something under pressure like that, so today I told him we are making a list and we'll just have to through each one and compromise.

Well, that's about it, just playing the waiting game and ready to meet this little miracle.

Have a wonderful week and we'll talk after my appointment on Wednesday the 17th!

~ Denise

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