Week 24 ~ February 14, 2008
~ A Hurting Heart
Oh the joy of Valentine's Day. For the most part I feel sorry for guys on this day because it seems that the marketing for this "holiday" is towards the female. You never see jewelry, flowers, or lingerie being gifted to the man.
But I have always liked this day; an opportunity to cook something special and write a few words to the guy who sacrifices so much as he goes off to slay dragons so that I can be home with my daughter.
I will admit that I have my expectations, nothing big or fancy, just a card or short note expressing something. So at 5:30 am (as I do every morning) I made coffee and breakfast for Bill complete with the perfect card and sentiment. Knowing Bill, I knew not to expect anything that morning and figured he would pick a card up or take some time in between his calls to jot down some thoughts.
As I'm getting ready to complain about this I do think to myself how petty I am being, but I can't help it right now. There was no card, however; he did try to give me a small box of chocolates. The basketball playing dog with the sign, "You're Too Cool" wasn't quite what I had hoped for, especially when he said a customer gave it to him.
If I'm being honest, I do feel a little sad right now. Perhaps I'm thinking of last year and the beautiful card he wrote that talked about me as a person, a wife and mother to Kathryn and Mychaela. I just really need a reason to be encouraged right now and I feel like my best friend just let me down.
I need to breathe and in writing this I realize maybe that is why he didn't get a card. Maybe he is remembering the anticipation we both felt this time last year.
Maybe I'm being a hormonal pregnant mess.
The only thing I know is that my heart just hurts today.
In baby news: Liam is kicking up a storm and that really does brighten my days; even days when I'm feeling a little blue. My last four week appointment is on the 29th and then I will start seeing the O.B. more frequently and starting to go to get a stress test at the hospital. I'm looking forward to escaping for 30 minutes to just listen to Liam's heart beat and soak up each moment. I've also noticed a little nausea try to creep up, but nothing a glass of water, some crackers and a walk won't fix.