Week 31 ~ April 2, 2008
~ We Have A Date!
I cannot believe how quickly time passes; my step-son turned 14, I turned 29, Spring Break is half-way over, my husband is coming back from a four day business trip, Cruz made honor roll, Kathryn still makes me laugh, and we decided that May 29th, 2008 will be William "Liam" Michael Sloan's birth date . . . all of this in the past week!
As you can imagine I have kept very busy and suddenly it hit me the other day that I am in the month of April. In 19 days it will be the date that Mychaela would have been one year old. I have been thinking about what I will do to hold this day sacred. I know that I need to do something, but also not be too busy as I need to feel this day. I know that we will have a balloon release and I plan on delivering flowers to the hospital that day. I think I will go by myself so that I afterwards I can go into their chapel area and have some time alone. For such a large hospital it is nice that their chapel is a serene place of escape.
I have been doing a lot of thinking. As mothers we are instrumental in the development of our children's personhood. Since Mychaela did not have the opportunity for this, as her mother, I feel a strong need to keep her personhood alive and real. I know that as long as I am alive she will be remembered as a beautiful baby who lived for nine months is a warm, dark place until I held her still in my arms.
I will admit that I am concerned about the possibility of postpartum depression setting in. I am the type of person that likes to know the exact plan, and since I cannot know my emotional reactions to the actual birth of Liam this anxiety has planted itself in my mind. The next time I see my OB I am going to tell him of my concern and see what he has to say.
Other than that, Baby Liam is a livewire and all of my NST appointments are going well.
I'll keep you posted as the weeks continue to quickly slip on by.