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Gayesy's pregnancy after loss journal

Week 18
~ Movements and Nesting!

The first morning of this week, I woke up as usual, next to my beautiful cuddly little boy (Andrew gets up and leaves for work long before we wake up). We had some snuggles and then I turned on the TV so Thomas could watch a kiddy show while I jumped in the shower. I couldn't believe what I saw. I was in shock and denial. I ran into the bathroom and threw up for the first time in weeks, then returned to see if it really was happening. It was. Over the rest of the day, the news of the terrorism started to sink in. Every station on the television was showing shots of the planes flying into the buildings of the World Trade Center, the rubble at the Pentagon, and the devastation. I still cry when I think about it.

I have actually vomited again this week as well, when I read some more awful news on the internet. I am hoping that this sickness will not continue. In addition to this, I have been getting awful pains in my upper abdomen. I have been getting them for weeks, but things have been worsening lately. When it strikes, the pain is almost unbearable. I can't talk, move, or do anything, and it lasts for at least an hour at a time. I am almost positive that it isn't a problem with little Munchkin, so I am VERY thankful for that. I just don't know what it is, but have been imagining that it could be something like bad heartburn or colic. The attacks are coming quite frequently unfortunately and because the pain is so severe I really dread the next one! I really can't remember having this sort of trouble when I was expecting Thomas, but then that was five years ago, so maybe I blotted all the really bad stuff from my memory!

We went to the Maternity Bazaar run by the Childbirth Education Association. I wish we hadn't! LOL! The parking was dreadful (we almost got boxed in), the hall where it was held was so packed with people that I could hardly move and started feeling like a panic attack was coming on (I got out as quickly as I could). The maternity clothes that were there were AWFUL! Seriously, these clothes would make even my daggiest outfits look like haute couture! All the baby clothes were just strewn over trestle tables, and there were hundreds of people rummaging through them frantically. Oh my - I just had to get out of there.

My uterus seems to be growing nicely, and is now almost up to the level of my navel. My belly button never popped when I was expecting Thomas, but I am suspecting that it might this time, as it has already been feeling quite sore. Thomas has an "outie" so I think he would quite like it if we "matched" for a little while. He loves cuddling my tummy, patting it, and talking to the baby. He will be at the ultrasound on September 28th, so I am sure he will get a lot out of that too.

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The day before I was due for another check-up, I started feeling LOTS of movements! I was SO excited and so relieved. Little Munchkin was really kicking up a storm, and I could feel the kicks both from the inside and when I put a hand on my tummy. Andrew and Thomas were keen to try too but by the time they got there things had stopped. I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities for them as time goes on though.

My appointment went very well. I am just so thankful and relieved that things are going so well so far. The doctor took my blood pressure, felt where my uterus was and we heard that precious little heartbeat again. I have actually been following the growth of my uterus so I knew where it was up to, but it was still good to have that confirmed. He said it was "about 18 week size" which was great, as I was 17 weeks and 5 days on the day of the appointment. Can't get much better than that!

My cold has unfortunately continued. Well, I THINK it is still my cold, although maybe I am getting nasal stuffiness due to the pregnancy. Whatever it is, it isn't pleasant, especially at night. I really can't sleep when I can't breathe well through my nose and I even am prone to panic attacks when my nose is blocked. I'm really not quite sure what, if anything, to do about this. I am just hoping that it won't continue for too long, or I will end up with the biggest bags under my eyes from lack of sleep! Or end up a nervous wreck . . . One night it was even more of an adventure trying to get some sleep: we had possums on our tiled roof having some kind of party, kookaburras outside our open window at 4am having a great laugh about the whole deal, Thomas was kicking away and then decided to sleep on top of me . . . Oh, and there was a rather overweight feline taking up most of my pillow!! At least I can laugh about it!

I have still been in full-on nesting mode. Maybe it is because I am starting to realise that Andrew isn't likely to finish his PhD until about a month before Munchkin arrives, so I am getting a bit panicky. I have kept myself so incredibly busy getting Thomas's room sorted out. I measured everything up, went and bought some ready-to-assemble shelving for the cupboard, assembled it (with Thomas's help of course!), put all Thomas's toys in it . . . Phew! Now his room has plenty of drawer and cupboard space for baby clothes, and enough floor space so that if we do decide to set up a cot later on for some of Munchkin's naps, we can do that! Next thing to tackle is our garden . . . I think I will be getting some professional help with that though!

It is just so great to be feeling movements so often again now, and quite definite ones at that. Even when driving in the car I have felt the occasional little kick! Yay! It really seems like it might actually be happening . . .

Pregnancy Week By Week Guide, Week 18

week 19  |  Week 17
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