~ I Can't Believe I've Come This Far
I'm in my third trimester! Holy cow!
When I was just edging out of the first trimester--around 12 weeks, I met a woman who was 27 weeks pregnant. I could barely tell she was pregnant, because she was sitting down and her shirt was rather baggy. I asked her how far along she was and she told me and I didn't know what to say. At that time, I'd only done research up until the beginning of the second trimester and, having never been 27 weeks pregnant before, I didn't know what to say besides, "Well, you're getting there!" She nodded and smiled. At that time, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get so far as 27 weeks and now, here I am.
Right now, I feel sort of in limbo. I'm starting to feel really pregnant some days, and really normal other days. My belly is getting bigger and, again, some days it seems bigger than others. I feel the baby move and I'm starting to do more thinking about the baby's room and what we're going to need to do before she comes. I'm getting incredibly excited about meeting my baby. But, I'm also in denial that the baby will ever come! It seems so far off and like it's taking forever, even though it's so much closer than it's ever been. I'm trying to enjoy right now, though, and be patient!
I've been attending my Bradley method birth classes and learning a lot about first and second stage labor. We've been watching a lot of videos and, while I still find it unsettling to think about labor, I'm starting to feel a little more confident. I can't believe that I, who started out totally confident about natural labor, would get so disturbed by watching videos of women in labor and giving birth! I can't believe myself. But at the same time, I'm glad I'm getting educated and desensitized to it. I think that is what I need right now.
Thanks to all of you who sent me encouraging emails about labor and birth. I read a really good article this week in Mothering magazine about natural labor that made me feel a bit more confident, along with more in the book, A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. The Bradley class is also really helping me learn what I need to do now to prepare myself physically and mentally, so I've been really working hard on those things and I think I'm starting to feel more confident about going through it.