Now and Then . . . Sam's 4-month Update
~ February 4, 2003
Two years ago, if someone had announced, "It's loaded!" I would have ducked behind the nearest shelter, scared to death that someone had a gun, and, it was, in fact, loaded. Now, when someone says, "It's loaded!" two words come to mind: diaper and consistency. As in, "Sam has loaded his diaper with poopie that looks just like chocolate pudding."
Two years ago, if I'd woken up late, it meant I had 30 minutes or less to get out the door. Now, when I leap out of bed screaming, "Aaahhhh! I'm late!" it means I've got less than two hours to get both Sam and myself out the door.
Two years ago, if you'd taken a picture of me on a Friday night, I'd have had a beer bottle in one hand and a shot of tequila in the other. Now, when my picture is taken on a Friday night, I've a bottle of formula in one hand and a bib in the other. I have refurbished rice cereal chunks in my hair and droplets of squash on my glasses.
Two years ago, I'd have smelled like Givenchy; now, I smell like Gisumvomit. As in, "Gee, there's some vomit on the back of your shirt and I can smell it all the way over here."
Two years ago, I was wild and crazy-living my life on the edge-one chaotic day to the next. Today, I'm still living on the edge-just as crazy as before. As in, "You are out with the baby past bedtime? Are you insane?" Or, "We had a wild ride to the pediatrician's office because Sam had a fever of 100.5 degrees F."
Two years ago, I fit into trendy clothes. Today, I'm lucky if I can fit into my largest pre-pregnant sweats.
Two years ago, I didn't know the meaning of unconditional love and trust. Today, my sweet guy demonstrates such emotions constantly. Two years ago, I didn't understand the concept of loving so much it hurts. Today, my heart aches with my love for Sam. Two years ago, I had no idea my life was incomplete.
Today, I am fulfilled.
Today, I am a Mommy.
Today, I understand giving up everything for your child. I understand the need for safety and stability.
Today, I drive one of the safest cars on the road. I stock my purse with every single item Sam could possibly need in a one-hour period-infant Tylenol®, Mylicon®, diapers, wipes, two changes of clothing, Desitin®, Vaseline®, bulb syringe, saline drops, thermometer and the kitchen sink.
Today, my back hurts constantly from carrying around an extra 45 pounds of gear on top of a 14-pound baby in a 7-pound car seat.
Today, I am a Mommy. And I couldn't be happier.