Week 26 ~ June 25, 2002
~ Now Entering the Twilight Zone
Have you ever gotten the feeling that you have entered the Twilight Zone the moment that you walked into your doctor's office? That is exactly how I felt at my OB appointment yesterday.
I was scheduled to take my glucose tolerance test, so I drank my Glucola, just like a good little girl, 30 minutes prior to my appointment. I wanted to give them time to collect themselves, so I thought that having to draw blood at 9:30am, 30 minutes after my appointment was to begin, would give them a fairly wide berth to draw the blood. At 9:10am a girl called me to the back to get my preliminaries-you know, the dreaded weight, urine, blood pressure, etc. She weighed me (only gained three pounds this month!), made me pee in a cup (no protein) and stumbled through taking my blood pressure. It was the first time someone from this office had used a digital BP machine, so I thought maybe it was a new toy and this girl was just trying to figure it out. Plus, I'd never seen this girl working at the office, so, well, maybe she was just starting and a bit nervous? Anyway, she finally managed to get my blood pressure, but it was a big production.
So next she tried to lead me to a room. I told her I needed to have my blood drawn for my glucose tolerance test. She literally panicked. She had me sit back down in the chair, and she hustled up to the receptionist's station. She finally came back and explained to me that the nurse and the medical assistant had called in sick, and she did not know how to draw blood. And then she just looked at me like I was to solve her problem. So I said, "Would you like me to draw blood on myself?" And she kind of laughed as she began preparing a lancet for a finger stick. So I asked her, "Are you going to do a finger stick for a blood glucose?" She said that was all she could do right then. So after 10 minutes of watching her fumble with the lancet, I offered to do it for her. She asked me if I knew how-well, I explained to her my veterinary background, and she handed me the lancet and I pricked my own finger. She held the cartridge up to my drop of blood, and ran it in an unseen machine.
After a minute, she turned around and said, "Well, it is perfect-it is 12.0."
I said, "My blood glucose?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "If my blood glucose is 12.0 I should be on the ground having a diabetic seizure. It can't be 12.0."
She laughed and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I meant your hemoglobin."
So I asked her what she was planning on doing about drawing blood for my glucose tolerance testing. She kind of looked at me blankly, smiled sweetly, and couldn't come up with a solution. So once again, I asked her if she would like for me to draw my own blood. Just then, Dr. F came around the corner and said, "Oh, I'll get that blood for you." So she drew my blood and off I went to a room. Dr. F came in and began my appointment and the receptionist barged in and said, "Dr. F, labor and delivery needs you right away." So she ran out the door with me lying on the table, pants pulled down around my belly and covered in goop. So I cleaned myself off (we had already heard Sam's heartbeat) and walked out of the room. The receptionist asked me if I wanted to come back later-I laughed. So I scheduled my next appointment, four weeks later, and left. Talk about a strange OB appointment.
I'm really very understanding of being short-staffed and having a crazy day, so I wasn't angry at all. I just thought it was hilarious that I had to do my own finger stick, and I was close to drawing my own blood. At any rate, I am hopeful that the blood was truly sent to the lab for the tolerance testing-guess I'll find out soon enough!
This week has been pretty good. My stamina is quickly fading, however, so it looks like my Tim Allen escapades will have to slow a bit. Too bad, as I was having fun learning how to drill holes in the wall. My tree trunks, I mean my ankles, are still pretty swollen, but I think I'm getting used to the "oak appearance." I do, fortunately, look pretty good running around my office wearing big, fuzzy slippers. I don't know if I'll want to give them up after having Sam!
Do fuzzy slippers count as office attire?