Week 29 ~ March 9, 2004
~ Tough Decisions
What do we do now? I was approved for pre-natal Medicaid last week, but our homebirth midwife is willing to work with us on payments. But it is very hard to not go with the Medicaid, as it will cover everything 100%. My midwife said she doesn't want me to end up with a hospital birth, if I don't want one. I think I need to explain to her, though, that the whole reason we were doing a homebirth in the first place was because I didn't have insurance (but Steve had a job, so we could pay the midwife). But now that we can go with Medicaid, do I go with a hospital birth?
On a lighter note, I have had more and more dreams about the baby. Last night, I dreamed that I could feel his/her arm (or was it a leg?) through my belly and I could feel the soft little bones and I was just amazed that I could feel such detail in a dream. I am still so torn between whether it is a boy or girl - but I am so glad that we don't know the sex! I really like the name we picked for a girl, but I do like the boy names we have narrowed it down to as well. We aren't sharing names this time - we got some negative reaction when we mentioned the names we chose during my pregnancy with Ethan, so we are keeping them a secret this time.
I really want to "nest," but I have made a deal with myself that I won't do any decorating until I get our taxes done. That will hopefully force me to get them done this week so that I can spend the weekend decorating. My step mother-in-law is giving us a king-size quilt. It's not my first choice as far as style goes, but it will be something different. I am a little tired of the bear/tree/lodge theme that we had when we lived in the mountains.
We will be moving Ethan into a "big boy" bed sometime soon. A friend is giving us her toddler bed - I will just have Steve paint it black (it is white). We are going to put it in Ethan's room so he can play on it before he really has to sleep on it. And if it doesn't work out, he can stay in his crib for a while - the baby will be in a bassinet in our room for at least a month or two anyway.
I have been having more and more Braxton-Hicks contractions, and a friend of mine warned me about them causing dilation early. And I am paranoid about that, as my mom had an incompetent cervix and lost a little boy at 32 weeks (in the 1970's). The homebirth midwife is so low-intervention, I don't even know if she would check if I wanted her to. But at this point, I should probably be checked, just to make sure.
By this time next week, we will know whether we will be doing a home birth or a hospital birth! And I am definitely looking forward to spending more time with Ethan and Steve and less time at work (I am done my temporary job this week).
Until then . . .