Week 33 ~ April 6, 2004
~ Tough News
I had my ultrasound yesterday, and everything appeared to be fine - diaphragm, spine, stomach, etc. The technician was only able to get a picture of the baby's foot, as the rest of the baby was too squished to see well. The tech said that the baby was measuring 37.5 weeks (I am only 33.5), so she said I am probably off by 4 weeks.
So I headed to my mom's house to prepare for our Passover Seder, and the midwife called. She said that the doctor reviewed the ultrasound and called her because there was "an area of concern." From what I understand, the ventricles (open spaces) in the brain appear to be too large. Worst case scenario is that the baby has hydrocephalus ("water on the brain") and could be brain damaged. So I have to go to Denver to get a higher resolution ultrasound.
The unknown is the hardest part. The doctor could be misreading and everything is fine. Or he could be right, and something is very wrong with the baby. Steve is the calm one - he is saying he will worry if we get an actual diagnosis. But of course, I am completely stressed out. I have to wait to call the midwife in another 1/2 hour to get things scheduled.
In the mean time, we told our families, and they are so supportive. I talked to my mom first, as she lost a baby at 32 weeks due to premature birth. She said she felt such peace when Matthew died because she knew God was in control. And she said God is in control here - if He chooses to give us a child that has problems, he chose our family for a reason.
My sister on the East Coast (the one that adopted the twins) was so encouraging this morning when I called her - she read me Isaiah 43:1-4
But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life.
I will update when I know more . . .