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Hedra's Pregnancy Journal

Twenty Weeks, 5 Days ~ July 15, 2004
   ~ Gabe was right! It's TWINS!

Yep, he was right. We're having twins.

I'm still a little stunned. It is quite a lot to integrate all at once, and now and then my brain comes up against a brick wall and takes a while to batter it down so I can move forward again.

The most common question I'm asked is, 'how did Will react?' To which I can say, 'better than I did.' He adjusted almost in an eye-blink.

Granted, I'd also had the chance to be scared half to death first, while he'd just been annoyed at being left in the waiting area for oh, an hour and a half or more.

When we got in to the radiology center, they almost immediately took me back to the back, leaving Will behind. Last time I had a high-level ultrasound, he was there the whole time, so this was new. I figured they'd just bring him in once they'd done a quick check? Maybe?

No.

No, they don't let the guy in until the VERY end. No idea why, maybe guys ask too many annoying questions. But that wouldn't be Will. Ah, well.

So back I went, and they asked if a student could stay (yes). and they started. I said I didn't want to know the gender, and I am pretty good at reading ultrasound, so they turned the monitor away so I wouldn't see by accident. No problem, that works.

The technician gooped me up, and started sweeping the wand around. She looked around, looked around, looked around. then started leaning in toward the monitor, a frown of concentration on her face. Then she sat back up, looked at the student, moved the wand a bit, looked back at the student, and they both nodded. Silence. The tech then stood up and said she'd be back, she needed to check my chart for something. WHAT? WHY? But I didn't get the words out. Before I could do more than numbly mutter 'okay', they were both gone.

Immediately my brain went into stress overdrive. There's not much IN my chart, here. Almost nothing. The only thing they could get would be my age and the due date. was my baby too small for dates? Too big? Did it have a huge hole in its head or something? I lay there waiting, and waiting, and waiting. FINALLY (maybe 5 minutes later, but it felt like 20), they came back. They brought the senior radiologist in with them, too. She took over the controls, and looked, and looked, and leaned in and studied the screen while moving the wand back and forth slightly. Then she turned to the technician and the student and said, "Yes, I see it, too."

At this point I was too scared for tears. I was too scared to scream at them "SOMEONE OVER HERE MIGHT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!" All I could do was watch them. Maybe I looked calm, I don't know. I was really just paralyzed.

The relief of the radiologists next words washed all that away, for the moment.

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"There are two in there. Here, let me show you."

I then got to look at the two of them, one of them turning to watch the ultrasound wand as it came by, face appearing out of the fuzz. I thought immediately - ooh, that one is PRETTY! Pretty? They look rather like an alien skull, but it still looked, well. pretty. Delicate, in a way. Not the way Gabe or Bren looked, all round and standard baby. The other one wouldn't cooperate for good pictures, but their faces definitely looked different to me. Heads almost exactly the same size, but faces. faces just looked different. Maybe I am imagining things, though.

I was shaking for about half an hour. It only occurred to me later that it was more reaction to the abject terror of maybe having something horrible wrong than it was to the news of twins. Once that wore off, though, I started to giggle. I had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep from chuckling loud enough to jiggle the ultrasound image. And I kept asking when Will could come in. He was expecting a 45-minute-to-just-over-an-hour procedure. It was now past an hour. Then past an hour and 15. An hour and a half. I kept asking. They kept saying 'we'll finish this one, and then when we're mostly done with the other one, we'll bring him in.' I kept asking anyway. I was wondering if he was starting to think something was wrong, too. No point having BOTH of us get freaked out.

They finally fetched him. I had thought up about five ways to tell him the news. I finally settled on telling him that Gabe was right about the twins. His response was a half-second blink and then, 'Well, okay!' and a grin. A few minutes later, he checked to make sure we were positive there weren't THREE. But no, just two.

JUST TWO! OH MY!

We're having twins. Holy cow.

I've got my ultrasound report back, and checked my chart again, too. Not only have I gained just what I should have by now for twins (20 lbs in 20 weeks), but the babies are spot on for development as well. No abnormalities they could see (though they couldn't check umbilical insertion at abdomen or mouth/palate on one twin due to position). And they're measuring within days of each other for size. More than that, one of them is measuring BIG - only by two days at this point, but BIG IS GOOD for twins. Bigger the better. Bigger means going home sooner than later, less time in the hospital, maybe no real time at all.

Fingers crossed. There's a lot to happen between now and then, and I'm still learning. It has been hard hard HARD work to integrate the flood of new info into my brain, heart, and soul. But it is starting to settle in now. I won't be having a birth center birth, again. But I'll cope.

Twins. How cool. And reminder to self: Never bet against Gabe.

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