So, I met the OB, finally. He's a lot younger than I was expecting, but he was really nice. He also was an RN (L&D!) before he became an OB. He doesn't look like that's possible, though maybe he just looks young.
He answered a lot of my questions:
Is he comfortable with delivering the second twin breech? Yes. He said he'd consider breech-breech if I was ADAMANT about it, but wouldn't be comfortable with it as a plan. (Neither would I, actually -- breech-breech allows too much risk that the first twin's head will get wedged by the second twin.)
Does he measure cervical length? Not for experienced moms who have no history of preterm issues, and no other signs. (ACOG specifies that there are no interventions to stop preterm birth, anyway, so measuring cervical length doesn't have an outcome impact. Prevention -- by good diet and rest, and care to avoid infections -- are all you can do to make a difference.)
Can I birth at hospital B instead of hospital A if the timing is right? Yes, though he has his preferences and his reasons, he thinks my judgment seems fine, and I just need to call and tell him where I'm headed. (I will still call hospital B to make sure their perinatologist is already there before I go in, though -- I want them ON the floor when I get there, not stuck in traffic!)
Can I birth in a birthing bed instead of on a gurney in the OR? We'll play that by ear, but we might be able to manage it at the time. We'll see. (My reaction to being told that the usual for twin births is on a gurney in stirrups in the OR was 'oh, THAT isn't going to fly!' Hardly politic on my part, but honestly, if you want a healthy birth, laying me flat on my back so that there's less blood going to the babies, PLUS no gravity . . . um, I don't think so!)
Can my doula come in with me to the OR? They usually won't allow that, but he thinks he can convince them to (he has a rep for being very pro-natural, but also conservative). I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm probably going to have TWO doulas present... but I can live with just one for the actual birth if I can have both for labor.
I bent his ear for quite a while, but didn't go through all my questions. And some of the answers spawned other questions! Like, do both hospitals require in-OR births, or can hospital A do surgery in the birth suite (at least someone told me they'd been prepped in that the suite was also a surgical room for emergencies -- but I don't know if that is a 'no time to transport down the hall!' emergency, or not). Also, can twin-moms have priority for the private rooms? How about can I have rooming in with both babies (my preference)? How about can Will stay overnight, given that I'll need his assistance with the twins (one hospital doesn't typically allow dads to stay overnight -- UGH!) . . .
More research to do. Sigh.
I also learned this week that I'm far too educated to get much out of the multiples-specific birth classes. I talked to the instructor for one of the classes, and they're really more geared for couples who have no other children, no experience, no network, etc. I'll be better off continuing with my hypnobirthing class and just taking a tour of the hospital and NICU. In one way, it is reassuring that I already know 'enough' -- but in some ways, I'd far rather have a class that is targeted to what I need, than have to make it up out of parts. Oh, well. More to check into, I guess!
There I go, more questions. Eventually, I know they'll be answered, as much as they can be. I still feel like I'm at the beginning of a tidal swell, though -- just when I think I've got my feet under me, here come 65 more questions that I need to have answered! ACK!
I also have noticed that the typical comments directed at twin mommies are not coming my way at all. no 'you're too small to have twins in there!' or 'wow, you're HUGE, are you supposed to be that big?' (Both of which can be pretty alarming when you are worried about the babies
already.) Almost everyone says, 'You look GREAT for having twins!' though most of them google a bit at the fact that I'm just about 6 months along NOW. Three more months? WOW. I'll be huge. But again, not, 'you'll never make that far!' or anything else negative. I mentioned this to a friend, who laughed and said nobody would ever dare say those things -- I just don't look like I'd let them get away with it. Not sure where that 'look' comes from, but her husband agreed. In order to look like I'd take that kind of garbage, I'd have to have EVER taken that kind of garbage. I really don't tolerate stupid comments well though I'm very patient with them when they do happen. I think, personally, that I come across more like I'd give them a lecture if they tried it, explaining all about how they were wrong in their assumption, and why. Not a smack-down -- I'm fully capable of coming up with snappy comebacks, but I almost never use them. Bored to tears, maybe . . .
We've started on the twins-based plan for the house. Part of this includes modifications to the house (still not started -- mostly bedroom-related), but part is just habits and patterns we need to set down NOW, before it is too late. Like, making the kids pick up everything before bedtime. And the one-toy rule. One toy goes back before a new toy comes out. So far, Gabe has been pretty good at that, and Brendan hasn't a CLUE. Not surprising. But he also definitely is willing to put all his toys in a box rather than have them all go into timeout for a week (the consequence to not putting them away). So far, so good. Now, if they can just develop this as a HABIT . . .
Some days, it is overwhelming to think that we're having two babies. At once. And some days it is just cooler than cool. We'll get through it, I'm sure. Just keep going, asking our questions of ourselves and others, and learning, and finding new questions to ask.