Twenty-Eight Weeks, Six Days ~ September 10, 2004
~ More adjustments
Funny, how I think that just because I'm not a first time mom, I will get an easier run of it.
Okay, yes, much of what I'm experiencing is not a shock. I'm not alarmed or put off by the myriad symptoms and discomforts of pregnancy. I'm not surprised (even when I'm not thrilled) by the mood swings or sudden food requirements.
But there is still adjusting to do, each and every time.
For example, I have to work through my previous expectations and experiences with childbirth. The first time, I had to work through what I expected from family stories and my own body history. Then, it was a different path with my next son. And this time, yet another new path. They're all different, and I know that. But somehow, somewhere in my brain, some part expects to be able to just hit 'repeat' and maybe modify the details a little. (Snort!) Yeah, not happening! I still have to do it all again. I still have to prepare, and plan, and make myself ready. I still have unique issues to work through, and old echos to recognize and either honor or release (or both, really).
The birth plan is looming larger in my mind. I will need to visit the hospitals soon, get a sense of what they consider the norm, what they deem medically essential, and what can flex. Each time, the birth plan is different - and this time is no exception, certainly!
And then there is adjusting in our lives, as well. The day-to-day stuff. We have started the deep-structure adjustments already - the wall has been torn down in our bedroom, so that we can make room for a second queen-sized bed beside our old one. We have the shower-gifted snuggle nests, one for each baby, a bed-within-a-bed for which we will need that larger bed! But the wall is out, and the patching is scheduled for this weekend. Hooray for having a husband who knows something about construction.
What else? There is making more room for Will's needs - I've not done a great job on that so far, and the strain was starting to show. So we've worked out a different schedule, one where he will get at least one evening at home a week - at least until the babies are here - without demands. Instead, I'll head over to my mom's house, and have dinner there, and help her work on the victorian doll house we've been building for nearly a year. A little silence, in an empty house - just what an introvert needs when he's been leaned on a bit too heavily lately.
Oh, and adjusting my body's expectations, too. Again, hypnotherapy is a great tool for me. Anne threw in some suggestions about feeling stronger and better with each time I did any script. Well, one script later, and my pelvis has been transported back a few weeks, discomfort-wise. I still get achey, and sometimes there's enough pain to force me to do something else, ANYTHING else... but it doesn't feel as bad as it had, just a few days ago. Not at all. So my body, with a little prodding, is also adjusting.
I have plenty of adjusting to go, I'm sure. But that's what this path is all about, isn't it? All new experiences, even ones that are half-way familiar, and a lot of learning. Whenever I learn, something has to adjust. Whenever I grow, something has to adjust. If being pregnant are a lot about learning and growing, then I'm pretty much signed on for adjusting the whole way through. And beyond. Sometimes I get a big achey or cranky in the process, but I settle in eventually, and the new stuff becomes well worn and comfortable... until the next transition must be met, and passed through.
Ah, oof, my pelvis is complaining right now - time to go move around, and give it time to adjust!