Week 22 ~ October 11, 2003
~ Pride and Potholes
It’s amazing, even if I were to live to be an old woman, nothing would teach me to release my expectations like being a Mom does at every turn. Sometimes I wonder why this continues to be my lesson . . . but I don't suppose I'll ever fully understand. In the meantime I try to look at things with a little humor - after all, it could be a while before I really get it.
This week our son really started walking at the end of 14 months (Lesson 1 for the week: his time is the right time). We absolutely adore watching him awkwardly waddling with uneasy steps . . . his heart is full of determination and he never stops trying, I couldn't be an ounce more proud! He is becoming aware of the bigger world in front of him I think because where Daddy has been the person of choice (night or day), he spends at least as much time in my arms as he does on the ground lately. (Which to be totally honest is kind of nice, I was starting to feel a little un-Logan-loved because of how much he preferred his Dad over me . . . ahhh, everything has a season I suppose). It has been so wonderful to realize that parenting has only gotten better, there’s so much to look forward to.
It has been quiet on the home front - Evan has been writing and putting together some new songs and we've actually been able to catch up with some of our family and friends. It was the first week in months I didn't have one appointment or scheduled thing. Of course my house finally got cleaned and our laundry is done - amazing what a little time can do! I don't think we’ll know where to start with so many clean clothes to choose from, lol!
Physically I ran into a few road bumps this week . . . potholes maybe. I've been having some hip pain I talked about with my midwife a few weeks back, but it has become a lot worse the past 3 weeks. I was originally thinking maybe a lot of it had to do with overdoing things with moving downstairs or fixing up the basement, etc. but the more I rest and the more painful it gets, I'm changing my mind. Unfortunately I think that my midwife's original thought that my pelvis could be splitting is true. It has been so bad that I am having constant pain at this point . . . sitting, walking, standing sometimes, you name it. I was able to purchase the support belt for your tummy and that has helped a little but even then the pain is there.
I did a little research on the internet and the results were less than encouraging and honestly a little scary. The reason pregnant women's pelvis' split is because of the hormone relaxin. It is made by your body in preparation for birth and facilitates the easier spreading of your pelvis for the baby to pass through. Sometimes (for no apparent reason) either your body makes too much or your pelvis gets "too relaxed" for lack of medical terms and the space created causes the woman a lot of pain. In some women because of the pain, lack of mobility gets so bad they need wheelchairs or crutches! God forbid! From what I read, there is no real cure or help until the baby is born - from that point it takes 6 weeks to a year for it to repair itself (depending on the severity). Soooo, not super great news with about 17 weeks left of the pregnancy but it IS encouraging that it doesn't affect the baby negatively. I'm really, really trying to have a good attitude about it but it's hard. After having quite a few speed bumps during this pregnancy already I was honestly hoping it would be smooth from here on out. (Lesson 2 for the week: sometimes some things are just harder, even if you've done it before). I believe that this baby is going to be a joy and there are things that are going to oppose that - please be praying for us.
Aside from that, things with the baby have been wonderful. S/he is really getting strong and the kicks are definitely making an impact! I think we have a night owl on our hands too because any time after 9pm is jungle-gym time in there. The baby has finally decided that both sides of Mom are okay and has been curled up on the right for a few times. It's funny to think the baby might have a favorite side to sleep on like grown ups do. We also finally have our two names picked out but we're keeping them a secret (we learned the hard way that sometimes sharing them means someone else will name their baby "your name" before you get to). We're thinking our parents may not love them (my Mom loves Logan's name) and I'm still trying to get used to saying them out loud. Names are a tricky thing; they're so important, with you forever and distinctly marked in people's minds in some way. And whew!, they are difficult to choose. People with more than 3 children… I don't know how you do it.
All our best to each of you this week!