I have never really been "that pregnant woman"... the one that cries at sappy commercials or tears up over the sweet story, but oh my gosh, I am now. And this week I was up, I was down and I was at every level between. EGAD!! Part of it is maneuvering more of my parent/family stuff (which I am getting tired of, if I am to be honest) and the emotional toll that takes... but part of it was just feeling insecure about the way I am growing so fast, how I'm doing my job and a various other silly insecurities that cropped up. I was telling my husband about how I felt and I think he was at a total loss as to what to say... what DO you say to "I feel guilty for looking so pregnant"? I know... there's nothing to say.
I had to gain some sense of my strength and self so I also decided to make some choices about what I wanted out of what I can control, and the boundaries I am going to keep with my family (since that's the current emotional stressor). Extremely uncomfortable to consider making boundaries, but truly something I think that will keep my heart safer and all of us ultimately happier. It's just complicated I guess. But for the record, neither of my parents have said anything. Two weeks of silence re: a new grandbaby - UGH.
A wonderful wonderful thing also happened this week - I felt the baby for SURE. Woohooo!!! Yesterday was the strongest wiggly day so far and it was totally exciting! This is a wiggly wiggly baby in there and it's so awesome!!! I have been super uncomfortable lately as I grow and I swear I actually FEEL like a stuffed chicken (seriously, I do) but that's meant in the past that something is going to grow outward because there can't be more pushing upward. HOW I can already be feeling stuffed into my own body, I don't know. I'm kinda nervous about how I'll feel in 10 weeks! Eeeks!
As morning sickness (all day sickness) starts to ease and I feel better in my body and my brain, I'm sooooo glad to be pregnant and feeling well. I am incredibly blessed. What an awesome life.