~ Things Change!
Yahooo! It felt like a breakthrough week... into maternity clothing, into feeling this lovely little person every day (eeeee!), out of pretend/real guilt for being pregnant "again" and in general, I just turned a corner. I feel GOOD in my heart and it's just awesome. My Mom finally said something about me being pregnant, and we talked about the daughters she raised to be resourceful, creative and powerful - I think she needed to remember that that is who she is, and who she made us to be.
So I found myself actually googling "why is pregnancy so painful when you're older" this week - ha ha ha! That's a bad sign of things to come, is't it? I have had a few years of not sucking up the aches and pains and this time I'm more achy and pain-y. I think sleeping is my current nemesis. Being only on my side does not make me a fan, however my back feels really wrong... and my stomach is out. I loathe wrestling with an extra pillow or I'd get all cushy in something like that but I swear they wake me up more dealing with them at night than they are helpful.
I've been knitting some diaper cover longies (ie. baby pants, my first knitting love) and they are almost done - so tiny and adorable! I'll share a picture when I have the drawstring done. It's my bonding time with this sweet little one... knitting hopeful, thoughtful, loving stitches into every round.
I can't believe how fast this is going, I'm trying not to panic! I met with my favorite midwife I used to assist and we officially decided to use her awesome skills and knowledge. It was very settling to pin down at least a mostly-planned plan. I won't lie, I did think "oh mama, this is going to just all get expensive quick". Time to be uber-frugal! Carseat, doula, midwife, birth tub liner, a few more maternity clothes, and we are thinking of changing the bedrooms all around and adding a room to our house so we can fit everyone. I resisted HARD to make that not happen... but seriously, every single pregnancy has come with construction (that has then stayed unfinished until the next baby, I swear). I can't stand the "undone" feeling, so hopefully if this really IS going to happen, we can make it just cruise. Because nothing says "don't go into labor" like undone major projects. Ugh. Ah well, time to worry about that along the way. But my honey is going to check out permits this week. Hilarious... someone, some day, is going to move into our house and seriously wonder why we wanted all these rooms.
Blessings! Onto week 16!