~ Anticipation and Expectation
It finally started to happen... the rooms we were going to switch around finally started to get moved. Painted, packed up and moved around. What a JOB! Moving four rooms has felt like moving moving. My daughter has a beautiful new giiiiiirrrrrrrly room of bright pink and bright purple and she loves it - it was the first thing painted and set up. Our master bedroom has been painted and awaits beautiful carpet on Friday (yay!!). We rented our house out for a few years several years back and the renters who were not supposed to have pets, had tons of them. The carpet in this room is the only one we didn't replace and it STILL smells like dog, six years later. Well we pulled it up and there was not four inches square that didn't have pee marks. GROSS! Can't wait for carpet and padding for the master and baby bedroom that isn't icky. I can almost see it put together... Friday can't come soon enough for my brain. I am making MYSELF nuts with the pressure to get stuff done.
As we get this huge project near completion, I am trying to gather my birth supplies and am I able to find it? Uh no. Awesome-sauce. No idea where it is! I may have given it away, I don't even know. (I usually give things away, so probably). My midwife said she will bring some so that's good at least, but that is sometime at the end of this next week and I get worried I'll need things sooner. I have herbs and re-washable pads (like for placing on your bed in case little people pee), diapers, a baby bed, carseat and a few clothes - so if nothing else, we can manage with that. But I lent my birth tub to my midwife friend and had to ask for it back. I really really hope this baby will stay inside several more weeks. Can I beg bribe him or her??? I'm not ready. Today I've had a ton of Braxton Hicks and other contractions - no no body, calm down - there's just too many things that need to come together for your sweet little peanut! And work - well there's another aspect that is so new for me. What state do I leave my desk every day? It wasn't such a big deal, when I was staying home - one day to the next, it's not like I went anywhere I couldn't not go to the next day. But work, if this baby comes, it will be done for a bit. Loose ends can't be all over. Not knowing when I'm going to not be there is just another strange adjustment to working full time.
Last night as I was laying on our newly moved bed in our newly painted master bedroom (imagining having someone new in our lives) I was thinking how blessed our lives are. The last time we slept in that master bedroom was when my oldest son was a brand new baby - and here, 10 years later we are expecting baby #5 and are back in that room. It was kind of surreal feeling. We have painted the majority of our home in color, which I love - but this room, is a tinted-white. It's so serene I just love it.
Sorry to go on and on about our house, it's just been years since we've done such changes, and our space is so personal - changes to it feel sort of like a spirit remodel too.
I had a midwife appointment this past week and found out that baby is indeed head down, just facing one of my hips vs my belly button or my back. I was relieved baby isn't breech considering the very high hiccups as of late, but there have been some very strange cervix pains. I imagine little fingers, hands or head moving going on in there. I think s/he is a creative dancer. If you think of us this week... pray the little Bean stays inside a bit longer. Thank you!!