So after last week and realizing I HAD to start getting time to focus on baby and putting things together, it was a whirlwind week - we moved the rooms around, got carpet put into the baby room and our main room, finished painting and started to actually find some baby/birth items. Of course we got rid of 95% of it all because we were done with little babies being born into our family - but some of my friends took me out to lunch this past week and gave me some wee little newbie clothing and I was able to gather some birth supplies enough that they will suffice. Phew! And it took me far too many days in small bits, but it's all put together in the baby room, the pool is blown up and my mind is settled re: baby being born.
And my body is SO full of baby! Oy growth spurts are so darned uncomfortable and I seem to be in a perpetual one which strains my back muscles and ligaments. But it's all good. . . only a matter of days. The last few days of a little person being housed in this big person. That's such a crazy thought for me. . . this season of my life is VERY close to being entirely done forever. I know full well that I will miss it tremendously, but how absolutely blessed am I to have experienced this five times?? Very very blessed. I wouldn't trade it, even with all the aches and pains I've been lately groaning (mostly inwardly ) about. There is nothing, in life, like it. It is truly a miracle - every movement is a reminder to me of God's amazing power and divine design. I am always amazed at the intricacies of babies, development and birth - which probably is some of what fuels my midwife dream - birth is the closest to heaven we get, until we pass on. The very start of an earth-side life. SO cool.
It's been difficult for my youngest little one to have so many changes in rooms and our focus, and she has said that she wants to be the baby inside Mom's tummy and such - so we've taken extra time and care to swaddle her up and rock her, snuggle with her and hopefully assure her that she IS our baby and she won't be replaced, no matter what. But she's on the cusp of being aware enough to realize something big is going on, but too little to know she won't be replaced. She's such a sweetheart though - I hope her transition goes as smoothly as one can. I am one of a set of twins so I never had a sibling adjustment like most normally do - I always shared, but I never had to scoot over either. . . it's an interesting dynamic. . . siblings are.
I am hoping the next time I write I have a birth story, but perhaps not. I know I'm ready to be done with work for a bit - but I also know when that happens, life is going to get crazy for a bit, so I waffle between being so uncomfortable and ready for the baby (and work to be done for a bit) that I lose all patience. . . and then other times I want to hold onto where I am, knowing every day goes too fast. It's a strange middle to waffle between. So so so hard for me to wrap my brain around having a BABY in our family! It's so funny. . . I hope my brain wraps around it fast!