Seeing as this is my fifth pregnancy, you would think that I had a) "been there, done that", b) would be used to the constant in pregnancy (as in, none of them are the same), and c) could talk myself down from the ledge when I start feeling anxious. Nope . . . it's just simply not true. Instead? We are still not sure who we will have as our provider, what we are going to do for the birth, given our past two histories of insanely fast labors/births (where no one made it to the birth). I have been calling my well-woman care providers who were doing the testing prior to finding out we were pregnant, with my occasional concerns. I think they are getting tired of trying to answer my concerns over the phone and finally asked me to come in this week. I will be honest . . . I don't like paying for the whole kit and caboodle when I just want my progesterone tested . . . but I relented. I'll give them this one.
As I'm getting closer to the end of the first trimester I'm considering things like how to hide my enlarging-by-the-week tummy, what type of leave I need to work out (ie. how much I need to save up), what newer car we can afford, what things we may need because we gave away EVERYthing, and all other basic preparations. As I feel a little better more often I'm starting to return to my more human state. Mornings and evenings are the worst, and being tired makes me feel ill, but I get glimmers of hope. I'm working to walk at least 40 minutes 5 times a week and if I get hot it makes me feel sick, but I do think the exercise helps. I can't believe I may have survived my fifth first trimester. I may hold us a little party with cupcakes and the whole deal.
Ahhh . . . so much swirling in my head, so much to do, so many logistics to work out! I know how fast the time will fly, and I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. I'm cautious, but excited. Finally!