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Jennifer's Pregnancy Journal

Weeks 29 & 30
~ It's Good to be Home & Bittersweet

Week 29 - It's Good to be Home

The week leading up to my trip to Virginia was packed with business and excitement, with a little trepidation mixed in. A friend of mine was going through a miscarriage and ended up having a D & C done on the Tuesday before I left. I wanted to do something special for her, since this was one of many miscarriages for her in the last 10 years. So I began to make her a quilt. I know, perhaps not the best time to start one, but I got most of the top done before I left, which was my goal. Since I was only packing for two instead of eight, my list was small and I had been packing bit by bit anyhow, so I was fine. My husband thought I was nuts, for I was trying a new pattern that involved folding the material to make a star. Kind-of like origami for material. It took me a little bit to figure it out, but I did and I'm very please with the way it turned out.

We left home quite early Thursday morning, for my plane flew out at 6:50 am. We decided it wouldn't be the best if the children came into the airport with Damaris and I. There were quite a number of tears the night before just talking about it, so we thought it would be extra hard for them to actually see me walk away. Damaris was a very good traveler, for which I was quite relieved about. Everyone thought she was cute and very well behaved. She never really fussed or cried (which was what why I had some trepidation before we left) and she tolerated sitting on my lap much better than I thought she would. The layovers helped as well, for she then had time to walk around and not be cooped up so much. This baby wasn't sure about the take-off and landing of the plane. During both times, there would be squirming and kicking galore going on! On Sunday and on Monday (the day I left) was having some pretty strong Braxton Hicks occurring. They weren't anything I couldn't handle, but they sure were annoying! On my way home, I had to walk from the end of concourse F in the Minneapolis airport to the very end of concourse B. Seriously, going down this long part, going down that long part, and still yet another, going under the area where the planes park at the gates, going up again, and then walking down the last long part ... all the while pushing a stroller that is too short for me with heavy bags, it was close to a mile of walking!! In other circumstances, it wouldn't have been a problem. But with those Braxton Hicks, my feet were tired, I was hungry (as was Damaris), and my legs were cramping up from sitting for over two hours with a sleeping toddler on my lap, I was exhausted when I finally got to our gate! To put it in perspective, I bought lunch (at Burger King) just off our arriving gate and by the time we got to our departing gate, the fries were stone cold (which had been just out of the fryer before being put in my bag)! Ugh!! Thankfully, though, that is all that I have to complain about.

The time with my father and family was good as well. We stayed at home most of the time and that was fine with me. I was there to visit with them, not go sight seeing anyway. Besides, I have lived in the D.C. area before and I have seen the monuments, museums, and other sights, so I was quite content to stay indoors. Not to mention the fact that it was a hot, humid weekend and this pregnant body was just fine in the AC! I did go shopping a little for the children and Adam. I wanted to pick them up something special, something you can't get from Wal*Mart.

Of course, I did find that my father has changed some, but that is to be expected. He is slowly regaining what was lost. Whether he will fully regain things still remains to be seen, but his progress thus far is encouraging! My younger sister came home from college for the summer and it was good to see her too! Our father kept calling us by the wrong name, but he's always done that so it wasn't alarming. I told him that I didn't mind being called the other girl's name, just don't call me Nathaniel (my brother)!

The night of my return, we went out to eat at the Chinese buffet restaurant. That was a treat, for it is fairly expensive for us to eat there. The children were very excited to see us and they came running into the airport to find us (it's a very small airport with only one gate and one baggage claim, all within 200 steps from the front entrance.)! It was so sweet to see how excited Damaris was to see everyone and how she literally clung to Adam.

Well, that was the extent of week 29. And without further ado . . .

Week 30 - Bittersweet

It seemed I came home and hit the ground running! I need to get unpacked, get things back into schedule around here, finish the quilt for my friend, and then pack everyone up for a weekend trip. A friend of ours' son got married this last Saturday (June 4) and it was about 5 hours south. There was laundry to do, cleaning to catch up on, sewing to finish (for my friend was going to be there at the wedding as well and I wanted to give it to her in person), food to cook, and so on and so on. Thankfully, school is all done! We didn't quite finish everything, but I'm okay with that. The wedding was very nice and it was equally nice to see people that we haven't see in a long time. We are more Ana-baptists then anything else (even though we are non-denominational), so the wedding was different than most weddings these days. The church that this couple attends is made up of mostly ex-Mennonites and a few Amish folks, so it didn't have the frills and pomp that you find in most weddings. It was very nice and simple, which is what I prefer anyway. Having catered many weddings, most of them with alcohol being served and seeing the results of that, it was quite pleasant to not have that there. Plus, since we are very good friends with the groom and his parents, we were told (as well as everyone else) that we were not allowed into the kitchen! I thought that was quite funny.

Going to the wedding was bittersweet for me. It was wonderful to see the many people we haven't seen in a long time and to get a chance to talk with them. Not only did we see them at the wedding, but most of them we saw at church the next morning. There was also a fellowship picnic after church, and that gave us all more time to chit chat with one another. However, the bittersweet part came when coming home. When you come away from such a weekend, full of fellowship, to your home where there is maybe a fraction of such fellowship . . . well, it reminds you of how much you are alone. I'm not talking about lack of family or fellow Christians, for we have that. But there is something in everyone that wants to belong; to not be the odd person out; to be with people who are more like you. We live a very different and conservative life style than the people around us, and that difference oftentimes makes me feel quite lonely. It is for our children, too. At least for Maacah, being the eldest. She yearns for girls who are more like her. I wish there was something I could do about that, but there's not. This feeling of loneliness is something that I can deal with, but it's not so east for a young girl or boy to do. Thankfully, my children have each other to lean upon and they do. But still . . . it's something I am consistently praying about for them, but for her especially.

I know, that however hard and alone our lifestyle is, it is how the Lord want us to live. So therefore, I trust Him to give us what we need. He knows we crave fellowship, for we are social creatures, and He knows that friendship is needed. This is not to say that we live in a sea of unbelievers and are completely by ourselves. We have a wonderful family and I couldn't ask for better in-laws, for all our family here are Christians. There are also others in the community whom we have grown a friendship with. But there is still something special about being with people who agree with many of the things you hold to be important. With people who are also convicted about living a similar lifestyle. Weekends like this last one makes me yearn for this type of interaction more often. But I know the Lord has us here for a reason. I am daily learning to be content with that.

I have another OB appointment this Wednesday, for I am seeing her every two weeks now. I took the glucose test the day before I left for Virginia and I haven't heard anything about it. I'm hypoglycemic, so my numbers are always low anyway. It nice to know we are closer to the "home stretch". I have always gone over my due date, with the mean amount of days being 12 days over. So I'm telling everyone (including myself!) that I have about 12 weeks left, which allots for 14 days past. Hopefully this little one doesn't decide to follow in his older sister's footsteps and be almost four weeks late! I'm not sure I can do that again. The Braxton Hicks are still there, at every position I'm in except lying down. It seems they are here to stay. Baby is very active, even though the space in there is getting less and less. It's becoming harder for me to just get up from a sitting position and start walking, for the weight on my pelvic area is getting greater and that makes it harder to "get going". I know that too, is here to stay. I've got about 12 weeks left to go! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, ......

Blessings to you all this week!

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