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Johanna's pregnancy journal

Week 24
~ UTI Revisited

I feel like such a lousy wife and mother. I have yet another UTI. This time, I have not been handling it well physically. I have been exhausted and nauseous for almost a week. Silly me, took me days to figure out that those are my ONLY symptoms during pregnancy. So, I finally tested, and sure enough it's a bad one this time. I didn't have one that could be detected a week ago, so I couldn't have had it that long.

All I can do is sleep. But, I started falling asleep when I was supposed to be watching Emily. I dozed off once, and when I woke up, I couldn't find her. So, I had to have Tom come home from work. She was not safe with me. Today, I sent her on a play date to her Grammy's house. She got up early with her daddy, and he took her over there before he headed to work.

I slept most of the day, but when I called to check on her, she was doing GREAT. She thinks it's the biggest treat to go over there. There is a huge 2-acre yard, tons of farm animals (she likes the cats and the baby chickens best) and four young children who dote on her. So, she is fine about this. Tom is fine about this. I, on the other hand, feel like such a failure.

I feel like I am no longer contributing to the family. The one thing I was doing was taking care of Emily, and right now I can't even do that. Now, they tell me that I am going back on the maintenance dose of antibiotics once I take the two-week supply. That means I take one every night before bed until I deliver this baby. I just don't understand what has been so hard about this pregnancy. Certainly, the baby is perfectly healthy and reminds me of that every single day. But, I don't understand why this pregnancy has been so rough. So, I have been feeling sorry for myself. I am sure it will pass; it's just been a big setback to have to go back on the maintenance dose of antibiotics, and I have been feeling disheartened in addition to being so sick right now.

On the bright side, I made it longer this pregnancy without it. With Emily, I was on the maintenance dose of antibiotics by 21 weeks, and was struggling with pre-term labor from the UTI starting at 23 weeks on. This time, the maintenance dose won't start until 27 weeks, and so far I haven't been battling pre-term labor related to it at all, just the time I got dehydrated. I have to focus on this baby's well-being and just trust Tom to pick up where I am failing for now. He and Emily aren't complaining! I am the one being rough on myself!

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