~ Ups and Downs
First of all I want to thank all of you who have emailed me with your VBAC stories, as well as those of you who sent me your repeat C-section experiences. It is helping me with my decision. After doing some research I think I have pretty much made my decision, however since I'm not 100% sure yet, I won't say for sure what I'm going to do. Also, I have my first appointment with a new doctor tomorrow morning, and I would like to discuss it with her first.
This week hasn't been the greatest. I am going through a phase of, "I don't feel pregnant anymore". I had been feeling "sweet pea" movements for awhile, and this past week haven't felt anything at all. I am totally not looking forward to my appointment tomorrow morning. I am really dreading it, fearing the worst may happen. I know the reason I feel this way is because of my history of miscarriage, and I know it's to be expected, but it still bums me out that I have to have these feelings. I wish I could just be a perpetually happy pregnant person (is that even possible? ha ha). Up until this past week, I had actually been doing well in terms of not worrying about the possibility of something going wrong and was actually pretty proud of myself for not being all "gloom and doom". This feeling just came out of nowhere. Luckily like I mentioned, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so hopefully my fears will be put to rest.
Other than that, nothing else to report. Sorry for such a boring entry. Next week's will be better, I promise!