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Julie's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 23
~ Getting My Act Together

I cannot get over how fast the weeks are going. I feel like I just wrote an entry yesterday! This week went very well. I have been swimming as much as I can and love it so much; it's so relaxing.

I have also realized I'm in denial that Nicholas will be here in just FOUR months . . . yikes!! Our new house has two bedrooms, one of which is supposed to be Daisy's room, and then when Nicholas arrives, they will share it until we buy our own home (hopefully next year). Can I tell you how many nights she has actually slept in "her" room? Zero! She sleeps in our bed, and although I absolutely love co-sleeping and would recommend it (although I know it's not for every family), I have realized that I should probably start getting Daisy used to her toddler bed (which we have yet to buy). So, as you can see, I am lagging seriously in that department. On top of that, I have planned to decorate their bedroom, and have been so excited at the prospect because with Daisy she didn't have her own room, she shared ours, and I feel like I missed out on the whole "decorating the nursery" deal. Do you know what I've done so far in terms of decorating? Nothing! I really have to get my act together. I'm the type of person, though that tends to wait until the last minute to do things like this, and in this case I really don't want to leave it until the last minute because I will also have tons of Christmas shopping to do. I have made a decision on what kind of decorating I'd like to do in the room, and since they will be sharing and I don't want anything "too" babyish (they grow up so fast!) I thought a "sea" theme would be cute; lots of warm coral colors, painting sea creatures on the walls (but NO seahorses . . . ugh!! Actually one of my closest friends has a seahorse "phobia", ha ha! So she would never come over to my house if she knew we had painted them on walls!). We're going to get some white furniture and netting for the toys, etc. I think it will look really great, once I get it done! Luckily, we have a LOT of stuff from Daisy that Nick can use and so that will cut down on how much we actually have to buy for him.

Other than realizing how much I need to get my act together on the nursery, I am feeling really good. I have another confession to make . . . yesterday I forgot to take the Prozac and thought about it for awhile, and have decided (and YES I know I'm supposed to discuss this with my doctor first) that I am going to stop taking them for awhile and see what happens. I know that I could easily slip back into feeling rotten again, and if I do, then of course I will take them right away. I just have been feeling really scared that I am hurting Nicholas' future development (mentally and/or physically) by taking them while I'm pregnant. I know there is no studies that prove that, but there are no studies that prove conclusively that it is harmless either, so I'd rather lean toward the safe side. I will let you all know how it turns out, and I'm really hoping that I just needed to take the meds for a short period of time, and will be fine now without them. Like I said, I do not have a problem going back on them, should I need them.

I had a little scare the other day. I realized toward the end of the day that I hadn't felt Nick move all day (although it is quite possible he did, I just didn't feel it), and his kicks and rolls are very consistent, so I usually feel him quite a few times a day. I started to get worried around 6pm because that's when he's usually the most active. I started eating peanut butter to see if he'd move, and he didn't. I tried chocolate next because he always moves when I eat that. Nothing. So then I tried orange juice (YUCK! I hate O.J., but I knew that is supposed to be a good one for getting the baby to move), he still didn't kick. Then I ate a half eaten chicken nugget (Daisy's lunch . . . ugh!!), still nothing. Now I'm getting really worried (not to mention quite nauseous) and I am searching and searching the cabinets for something when I see a banana. I eat it (and feel quite sick while I am!) and as soon as I took the second bite I got two kicks in a row, and HARD! I'm sure he was like, "Geez, mom! What are you trying to do me in here?!?!" Hee hee! I was soooo relieved, as you can imagine.

I think next time I need to feel a kick I'll go straight to the banana.

See ya next week :)

Pregnancy Week By Week Guide ~ Week 23

week 24  |  week 22
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