So there is a society hang up on weight right? Well normally I never give it a single thought. My Mom is really amazing and instilled really strong security about weight to my sister and I - and while we certainly haven't been unwavered by society's pressure, we do a pretty good job. Even while pregnant!
And then there's now . . .
I won't say I'm swayed by society, but I WILL say that I have had a heart-sinking feeling when I step on the scale lately. A pound a week - no big deal at all, I know it in my head but my self-esteem isn't so strong lately. When you have a way that your body has gained in all three previous pregnancies, you expect that it will be the same again right? Well this time is very different for me - I never had my no-weight gain first trimester+ like normal. I've just steadily gained. My only worry is that also typical-for-me is that I gain a LOT at the end, so my thought is, if I start out gaining 1/2 of my end-pregnancy weight now, with the end added to it, is it going to be really a lot all together? My obvious question to myself is, "Does it even matter??" but still . . . I told you my self-esteem is a bit on the low side as of late.
I eat sugar (literally as in ANY sugar) maybe once a month if that. I have an intolerance that requires sugar to be separated from something else that I eat quite often (fruit or citric acid (a fruit derivative) so it's simpler to eat the fruit/fruit derivative than it is to eat sugar. So I know I eat well - I don't eat any fast food or commercial food other than corn chips, an organic pasta and I use canned tomato products (without sugar). I make the rest of our food from scratch and so there is almost zero "junk" in our food. This has been a new thing for me (eating according to my intolerance) since September 2006 . . .so maybe the good eating is the weight gain? I can say that it is - right? Ha ha!
It was to the point the other day where I asked my husband (chagrined that I even felt like I wanted to ask), "Will you love me even if I get big Hon?" His instant and honest answer was 'of course' . . . so I pushed it (isn't that a pregnant wife's JOB?), "I mean big as in really big? If I don't lose any of the weight?" . . . and again he said 'of course'. :happy sigh: I believe him. Now just to get this silly brain of mine to quiet down. My decision after all of this rambling and concern is to stay off of the scale for a while. It won't change what I'm eating or how I'm doing health wise and I don't want to freak out about it for a while.
I have a tummy picture to share! Don't mind the scar that you see, it's from an appendectomy I had while pregnant with my middle son (and they can't do laparoscopic surgery when you are pregnant so I have a scar that is classic-style-appendectomy instead). I'm near having to wear maternity clothes, but the pants bug the heck out of me because I swear they have to be pulled up a few HUNDRED times a day and there is little more that I hate than clothes that don't fit. Bah! Does someone make maternity suspenders?? I now see the draw to moomoos. Ha ha!
Until next week . . .