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Julie's Pregnancy Journal

Week 25
~ The Loss of a Friend

This past week a young friend of mine (the youngest daughter of a family I lived with for a year and a half just before I got married) was killed along with a guy friend of hers (by her then-boyfriend). It was a horrible tragedy and has been extremely difficult. This family is an amazing and loving family and there is something SO horrible about saying goodbye to a child that catches me every time. I can read a newspaper article and I start crying; it's just not right that parents should *ever* have to bury their children no matter the reason. To lose such a loved person, it's so incredibly heartbreaking.

I resolved to say what I need to say (to those I love) now and to not wait to fix broken or strained relationships. We may not have the time to do it later and I want my children, family and friends to KNOW I love them. I don't ever want to have regret for not having said something, having not fixed a broken bridge. It's not easy and life has a way of passing over the things not said, but it doesn't fix them, it just makes them harder to approach when they need to be taken care of. I have excuses for not taking the first step, along with the best of us, but I still started taking them.

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Not to bemoan this serious topic, but as my husband and I get older, we are also realizing that it's our own parents that will be next in our lives to move on. Neither of us can think about it very long, but I dread the day. It is a difficult part of life (saying goodbye to those you truly treasure above any other people in your lives) and I will never think that it's fair, but I can feel that the worry my own parents held for me when I was younger is now something that gathers strength in regards to my in-laws and in particular my own parents. I worry about them being safe, healthy and not needing. This is one of the most difficult stages of life for me - having to release my children, my parents and my extended family to faith that they will be ok, and that if they are not, God will help me through it. I don't FEEL like that would happen though.

I think I will end here on a rather somber note, I apologize, it's been one heck of a week.

~ Julie

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