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Karin's Pregnancy Journal

Week 10
~ Midwife Appointment

I am in the double digits this week! Yahoo! I really cannot believe that I am 10 weeks already. Time flies. I am one quarter of the way to meeting Bean.

This week was pretty good. I'm starting to experience a little attitude adjustment. I'm still scared, but not nearly as badly as I have been. One day I called TJ at work and said, "We are having a baby, can you believe it?" He replied with "You are just now realizing that?" I explained that I actually woke up excited that morning, dreaming of cushy cloth diapers rather than horrific ultrasound nightmares. I'm still nauseous and exhausted, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

We had our meet and greet appointment with the midwife and hired her on the spot. She is awesome; we both love her. During our conversation, it was so obvious that we are all on the same wavelength. I was so nervous when we walked in, and by the end of our ninety minutes (I can't believe she took so much time with us!), I had turned into an absolute chatterbox. TJ joked (when we were driving home) that I liked her so much because we have the same haircut and the same glasses, lol. I was so worried about the white coat syndrome for nothing--would you believe that she has it too? I am just to take my blood pressure before each appointment, and she will chart my reading as well as her reading. The birth center is gorgeous. All of my appointments will take place in the birthing suites. There is no medical stuff anywhere in view, which really helps me to feel at ease. We are planning for a homebirth, but there is a small chance we might choose the birth center. For some reason, I am worried about disturbing the neighbors. My non-pregnant self would never care about something like that, so I'm chalking it up to first trimester stuff. Heather (the midwife) said she has attended wonderful homebirths in apartments, just to warn the neighbors as the birthday approaches as not to frighten them or give them the idea that there is a domestic situation going on. On the other hand, it would be a 30 minute drive to the birth center, longer if there is traffic . . . something I cannot imagine doing in labor! I guess we will be talking with the neighbors.

Two days after our initial meeting, I had my first appointment. It was great! We mostly just talked about my history and concerns. We were in my favorite birthing suite, and I was amazingly relaxed. I told her it would take some time for me to establish trust (she knows all about my history of horrible medical experiences), but that I am really excited to be working with her. My blood pressure even cooperated! It was not much higher than the reading I got at home. Heather asked if I wanted to try and hear the heartbeat. I really wanted to wait and hold out for the fetoscope, rather than use the doppler, but I decided I wouldn't be able to wait until between 20-24 weeks for the fetoscope. I was at 10 weeks and 1 day, and I still thought it was too soon for the doppler. I gave in, but I made her promise not to send me for an ultrasound if we couldn't hear it. She agreed and made me promise not to freak out. We couldn't hear it. I was a little bummed even though I knew chances were slim. I asked what the chances were that something had happened to the baby, and she said very tiny at this point. I just love her! She is so positive and reassuring. In four weeks, I will have an appointment with Wendy, her partner. I hope I like Wendy as much as I like Heather. Wendy was Heather's midwife before they started practicing together, so I have a feeling Wendy will be great too.

Midwifery care is amazing. I have known I would select a midwife as my care provider since my doula training, but to experience it firsthand is so empowering. There is so much choice involved. No test is mandatory. I am expected to participate actively in my own care. I don't have to get on the scale, which I have always found rather demeaning. Each visit lasts an hour or more. I cannot begin to describe the respect level between Heather and I. I am her client, not her patient. That might seem silly to dwell on, but there is such a difference in meaning that changes the whole picture.

We are moving next weekend. It will be a local move. *sigh* The job back East didn't work out. At this time, they do not have enough work for TJ beyond the next four months, so they didn't want to possibly lay him off at that time. He is number one on their active hire list (as he is with about three other companies), and they loved him. They just aren't hiring him right now. I'm a little worried because he only has a few weeks left on his current contract. The same thing happened in March and he was unemployed for three weeks. I hope history doesn't repeat itself because we don't have the savings that we did last time and selfish as this sounds, I don't want to cancel our vacation. So any spare "good job vibes" would be much appreciated! He has a few possibilities here, but they are only in the beginning stages. I know God will provide, but I'm so impatient, and I don't want to have to pay COBRA!

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