~ Coping With Terrorism
What a week. I began week 15 of my pregnancy waking up to tragedy. TJ came rushing into the bedroom and tried to wake me up. I sleep with earplugs, but I could hear him yelling "They've got NY and Washington DC!" I grabbed the plugs out, turned the television on, and was in such a sleep fog that I didn't understand. TJ kept apologizing for waking me, but he thought I would want to know. I leapt out of bed and dashed into the living room just in time to watch the first tower of the World Trade Center crumble. My first thought was I've got to talk to my mom. She lives in NY State, a distance from the city, but I was scared about how far and how fast the terror might spread. I called her and demanded that she get on the next plane here just as the ticker across the television screen read that all US flights were cancelled. We talked a bit and then realized that we know someone who worked very close to the World Trade Center. She hung up to see if she could get any details about him. Thank God, he is ok. He was coming up from the subway stop at the World Trade Center and was able to get across the street right as the second tower crumbled. I am sure that I knew many others who were not so fortunate. I used to work for a company who had offices in One World Trade Center. My prayers and condolences to all who suffered loss in this terrible event.
TJ was supposed to have a phone interview that morning for the position that would bring us to NYC and then to Germany for six months. Needless to say, the interview is postponed indefinitely. Their offices were located very close to the World Trade Center. Fortunately, we heard, through the recruiter, that everyone is OK. To think we might have been there if the interview happened as originally scheduled for the week before! That thought really scared me.
I have been obsessed with the television as well as thoughts of why am I bringing a child into a world filled with so much hate? I came to the conclusion that I am spending too much time dwelling on the bad things shown on the screen and too little time embracing the outpouring of love and spirit. I wish I could do something now, especially help on the front lines, but being pregnant, I have a different kind of job to do. The only way to change the world is to change our thinking--to teach, believe in, and practice love, acceptance, and peace among other things. It is my job to raise Bean in this manner, and to show him that we are all one people, worshipping one God, living together in harmony for the love and good of all men. We can change the world one day at a time, one new life at a time. I decided that God would not allow us to bring new babies into a world for which He has no hope; the babies are a sign that of hope.
I thought that my all day sickness was gone. Well, I was mistaken. I had three days where I was not feeling so well. At least I know it is lessening. The days where I was able to eat were amazing! I'm sure I made up for all the times I couldn't eat. My taste buds were very happy. I've also turned into an absolute klutz! This week I have sliced my knuckle, burned a quarter-sized spot on my hand while using the toaster oven, and slammed my leg in the car door producing a lovely two-inch gash and a huge bruise.
TJ and I did a lot of shopping (ugh, more bills!) this week. We finally bought our bed, which is on order and should hopefully arrive sometime next week. Now I have to wash all the new bedding. We are so excited that we are counting down the number of sleeps on the old, lumpy mattress. We bought a couple of things for me including my first official maternity clothes purchase. Would you believe the first maternity piece is a swimsuit? I went to the pool this week, and I could not believe how tight my swimsuit was; I felt like someone had bound my breasts and belly! I'm going to be taking some prenatal water aerobics classes, so I need to be comfortable. I tried on some suits in a larger size, but they were huge and saggy in the rear-I am so happy that my backside is not expanding! The maternity suit feels great and has room to grow. I freaked myself out a bit when I looked in the mirror with the belly pillows! I can't wait to have a round belly!