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Kat's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Weeks 31 & 32
~ This Isn't Fun Anymore

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Ok, so I'm officially really sick of being pregnant. And I'm only 32 weeks. Time has slowed to a crawl, my pelvis has all but given up on trying to hold me up anymore. BLAH!

Add to that the fact that as the birth approaches the apprehension I've been feeling about giving birth and having a baby again (stemming from fears from Alex) has turned into full blown panic. The other night I was thinking about when he comes and Craig goes out like he always does to get the going home outfit, my heartrate went up and I started shaking and saying outloud "Craig can't LEAVE! I can't be by MYSELF with that baby!"

I'm just so scared. I'm afraid this birth isn't going to be the joyful experience it should be, but rather a very scary time for all of us. I just pray for a healthy baby . . . a healthy me, a healthy safe family. I don't know how I'll survive another bad outcome.

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