Week 14 - November 25, 2004
~ A Doppler Is a Wonderful Thing!
"Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" is the sound of my new obsession. I'd like to be obsessed with a good bottle of Oregon Riesling and Brie, but us pregnant women have to take pleasure wherever we can get it. After several nervous days and nights wondering if this baby is all right, we've decided to rent a Doppler so we can listen to this little one's heartbeat at will.
I hesitated on renting one so that I wouldn't scare myself. Picture this: getting an urge to listen after a nightly bathroom visit, not hearing the heartbeat at 3 am, lying awake worrying, waking Errol, calling the on-call doctor out of her warm bed just because I didn't listen right. So, Errol has limited my listening sessions, for which I am appreciative. He seems to have the knack for picking just the right spot on my belly to get the heartbeat. (Perhaps he will change careers and become an OB nurse?) I do have to confess to trying for 25 minutes one afternoon by myself until I tracked down our little swimmer while Makenna laid on the bed next to me reading books. Big sigh from her: "I'm getting more books Mom. I better make sure to count to tell Dad just how many books it took to find the baby today." Turns out: 6 books.
Amazingly the Doppler has given me a sense of peace about this pregnancy that I haven't had. Just hearing that heart steadily beating in there is making me realize that there is a live human being inside of me. I know that I should know that since this is my third pregnancy, but it is just such an amazing concept that I can never really get my mind around. We think 'baby' and talk about this prospective 'baby' but somehow it is difficult to connect the baby inside with what she or he will become on the outside.
Talking to other parents who have had stillborn babies has made me realize the need to really connect during the pregnancy with the baby. It is as if I've (and others I've spoken with) recognized the importance to connect with the pregnancy and the baby. It is really for me the thought that this may be all the time I am given with this child and I need to slow down, appreciate, and enjoy our time together. I am really enjoying the connection that hearing the heartbeat on a daily basis is giving me.