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Katey's Pregnancy Journal

Week 21 - January 13, 2005
~ A Little Peek Inside

We've now seen via ultrasound that black and white peek into the world in which our newest family member lives. Errol and Makenna went along to the hospital and had the choice seats to view our little one, snuggled down in the soft placenta-filled world. Makenna had been working with an intermittent fever for a few days but otherwise appeared alright so we decided that it would be fine to take her along as she had wanted to see the baby for some time. Turns out she wasn't the best audience. Transfixed for about 4 minutes, she soon started asking if it was time to leave. Luckily, soothed by the dark warm room and the fact that it was naptime, she fell asleep on Errol's lap.

Our first views were of baby lying sideways across me, spine out. Loads of beautiful spine images for our first portraits. Next up, a couple of images of adorable baby feet, including a good one for the refrigerator. After some measurements were done, the tech had me empty my bladder in hopes that baby would rotate into a more optimal, forward-facing position. Well, baby rotated: bottom down, head up, spine facing out. No amount of poking, prodding, and position changes on my parts would encourage this one to cooperate. The tech warned us that we might be asked to return again for a repeat ultrasound, as she didn't get all of the images of the heart she needed.

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A few days later I received a call from Doctor F., my OB. She started the conversation by letting me know that we would need to return for another ultrasound around 28 weeks in order to get the heart images they would prefer. She also assured me that baby was measuring right on for the projected due date. Then, the big news: a 3mm fluid-filled cyst was discovered in the brain. Quickly she assured me that the ultrasound machine was state-of-the-art and was discovering all sorts of things that were "no big deal" and that they weren't used to seeing. I remained calm, asked a few questions and then hung up. I'm proud to say that I managed to go an entire 10 minutes before I burst out crying. The words "brain" and "cyst" should not, in my opinion, appear in a sentence together, especially not when it is referring to my baby.

Thankfully, Errol arrived home soon and was easily convinced to call Dr. F. back. They have a good relationship: she has done two surgeries for me, hosted many infertility conversations with us, and delivered Livia. I often think the two of them converse more easily than she and I do: both of them are prone to rational, logical thinking as a first course of action rather than my preferred emotional reaction. Dr. F explained to Errol that if she had any concern that this was a problem she would have immediately referred us to a perinatologist for further testing. Apparently small brain cysts can be common, and, without any other soft markers for genetic problems, typically mean nothing. At the 28-week ultrasound she expects the cyst to have resolved itself.

So, we wait, and hope that this isn't a 'big deal', that five years from now we won't even remember this blip in our pregnancy. I feel as if we've paid such a high price already: fertility issues and losing Livia. Shouldn't those things guarantee for us an easy pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby? If only that logic really worked.

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