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Kathy's Pregnancy Journal

Week 23
~ Open Mouth; Insert Foot

I thought I'd share with you some of the silly things my husband has said this past week. My hormones aren't causing me to swing too moodily so I find most of them funny and adorable (yes, I'm still quite infatuated with my husband after 15 years). So, sit back and enjoy and have a good chuckle along with me.

One of my main concerns about my pregnancy thus far, is that people keep saying to me they can't tell I'm pregnant. It has caused me some concern because I worry that Bump is not growing properly. Jeff has been aware of this concern and he has been trying desperately to calm my fears, mostly to no avail. However, when an opportunity finally arose to squelch my concern once and for all, he jumped at the chance and wounded my female pride in the process.

I was standing in front of the mirror trying on some clothes for our upcoming Hawaii trip. Needless to say, most did not fit. Jeff was sitting on the bed and listening to me complain about how nothing fits and how huge I feel. Keep in mind, I used the word huge first. When I turned around to face him, he blurted out "Wow, you have grown a lot over the past week. You can definitely tell you're pregnant. You are right, you are huge."

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OK, let's break this down. I'm standing in front of the mirror in my underwear trying to find something that looks half way decent. I am trying to minimize my "huge belly" and he tells me this? I looked into his eyes which were sparkling with such support and love that I realized he was drawing attention to the fact that he could tell I was pregnant; Bump was fine and all was well with the universe. The look was utterly adorable and innocent that it stymied my hormones before an ocean of tears spilled forth. But a few words to the naive partners in crime out there; never tell your wife she's huge, especially when she's standing in her underwear.

Two more comments came the very next day when we were waiting in the doctor's office for our second trimester appointment. Earlier that morning, a friend at work once again commented that she couldn't tell I was twenty three weeks pregnant. I was relaying this information to Jeff and asked as an after thought "Can you at least tell I'm pregnant when I'm sitting down?" Jeff looked at me and responded "That or you have a huge gut." He got a little bit more of a reaction out of me that time, but before I could truly express myself, the doctor entered.

Our doctor examined me and went over our results from our second trimester ultrasound. He told us that the brain and spine looked normal and although they can't catch everything, for all intents and purposes we have a normal baby boy. Jeff responded by saying "Doc, if it's my child, normal's a relative term." IF???? IF!!!!! "IF?" is exactly what I bellowed out across the room while clutching my ever expanding gut. Our doctor busted into fits of laughter while Jeff's face reddened to the color of a turnip out of embarrassment. Mine was red too, but for a different reason. Various thoughts ran through my mind as I sat trying not to lose it in front of the doctor. Listen here, buddy. You gave me this huge gut; you and nobody else so take your medicine along with me. This child kicks me constantly and uses my bladder as a Hoppity Horse and I curse your name when I can't use a bathroom when I need to.

Don't worry, folks. Jeff more than made up for his comments later. The point to focus on is that even though I have a huge gut, Bump is healthy and normal; unless he takes after his daddy (that's my husband just so everyone is clear), which means he's probably sucking on his foot right now.

~ Kathy

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