I was very fortunate to have Mike at home to help with my recovery and Will's first two weeks. Unfortunately, he had to go back to work this last week and that was hard on both of us.
Monday morning, I woke up with a feeling of sadness, fear, and a bit of excitement. Sadness was obviously due to the fact that I was really going to miss Mike during the day. Watching my husband and our son together has been one of my very favorite things about parenthood. The fear was also pretty obvious. Here I was, all on my lonesome, with a barely three-week-old newborn. I am pretty confident when it comes to baby care, but still it was intimidating. The excitement was the flip side of that same fear. After all, this was my first day, all on my own, with my very own baby. Finally!
After Mike left, I did have a few tears, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And Will was great. We had an enjoyable first day together and I even made dinner for Mike when he got home. I got some laundry done and did some light cleaning that had been driving me nuts for the past couple of weeks. Will was pretty easy on me that first day.
In fact, he is a pretty easy baby for the most part. He does cry, but it is usually for a reason that is easily remedied, such as hunger or a dirty diaper. He does love to be held, so it is sometimes difficult to get him down for a nap. At night, he is much better about sleeping on his own, but he wakes up every 2 hours like clockwork to eat. He has a big appetite!
People keep asking me how I am feeling and the truth is that I feel amazing! Sure, I am exhausted, and of course, I get sore from time to time in my incision area. But this is the first time in three years that I haven't been pregnant, miscarrying, or trying to get pregnant with the help of hormones. I feel better than I have in a long time, both physically and emotionally. It is hard to remember that I should be taking it easy, but I do try to keep it in mind. But back to the important stuff . . .
We had a fun discovery this week after his cord stump fell off - Will loves the bath! Most of my friends' newborns hate the tub and are in and out quickly, but he cries when I take him out. Bathtime is my favorite time of day when I feel as if he is the happiest and I am doing the most for him. We try to keep baths for the evening to calm him down and get him ready for sleep, so I start looking forward to them around lunchtime.
I wish that we could get on some sort of schedule, but it seems impossible. Just when I think we have some sort of predictability, it all changes. Two nights in a row, I got him to sleep at 7 and he stayed down. Then, the next night, he wouldn't go to sleep until 9 and then was back up at 10. His naps are all over the place and vary from 10 minutes to three hours. It makes it hard for me to follow peoples' advice and sleep when he sleeps, because I never know how much time I am going to have. And that's when I need to catch up on laundry, eating, and writing my parenting journal!
I do get a little scared of establishing bad sleeping patterns, but everyone tells me that he will find a routine at about three months. It's hard to believe that he is one month old already, so I know he will be three months before I can blink! I am trying to enjoy these precious moments and not worry so much about the future. I guess that is what being a parent is all about - worrying about what we do today and how it will impact our kids tomorrow!