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Katie's Pregnancy Journal

Week 32 ~ July 12, 2008
~ So Many Feelings

I started realizing how close this was all getting when I checked my journal entry out last week. I realized that I am just three journalists from the top! Soon, "Waiting for Birth Story" will be next to my name. How exciting! How scary! There is still a lot to do.

However, we have accomplished a lot recently. The nursery is painted, the crib is up, the furniture is organized! This morning, we are getting ready to go get the bedding, curtains, and a crib mattress. Things are finally starting to come together for Little Man's nursery. I love to just go in there and sit in the rocking chair and dream about rocking him, changing him, kissing his little toes. I think "nesting" has started to truly kick in, as I also have started obsessing about washing the clothes and blankets and getting them sorted and put away.

We finished our birth class yesterday and will have our hospital tour this week. The birth class didn't really give me much more information than what I had already read about, but it was nice to learn some pain coping techniques and I think my husband got a bit out of it (he doesn't read nearly as much about all of this as I do).

We are still stumped on a name. We are keeping our choices and final decision a secret until he is here, but just when we think we settle on something, one of us changes our mind. We do keep coming back to the same name, however, so I think that we will eventually settle on that. I guess we are waiting for the perfect name to come along and I am not sure there is any such thing.

I am getting bigger and more uncomfortable as each day passes. I can tell that he is running out of room in there, and his kicks and punches are getting more powerful. They aren't painful, exactly, but they are no longer the cute little flutters or bumps. Sometimes, he will get a really good hit in and it will catch me by surprise! It's fun to watch my stomach take on "angles" as he sticks an elbow or knee out.

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I have had a few more contractions, but nothing regular. I did have one night this week when I went grocery shopping and about half way through, I started getting worried, as the intensity and frequency started increasing. When I got home, however, the contractions died down and I realized that I was probably trying to do too much.

I am starting to work with the girl who will replace me when I am gone on maternity leave. It is so weird to write out the plans for someone else to do "my" job. I have been having a bit of anxiety about finances lately. We are spending a lot of money on last minute things for the house, for the nursery, or just things that we justify by saying, "Well, we won't be able to afford this later." The economy, the world itself, just doesn't seem all that stable lately. I can barely watch the news any more without feeling scared about the price of gas, the housing market, my husband's job security, etc. I have heard this is a common pregnancy symptom, but it still makes me nervous. I feel more vulnerable now that I am about to be a mom and responsible for the health and safety of another little person. It's funny how you can know something logically and yet finally feel it emotionally and it's a whole different ball game.

As we get closer, I do find that I am getting more emotional and feeling much more dependant on my husband. My sister's bridal shower is next weekend, and I would usually think nothing of jumping in the car and driving the six hours round trip by myself. Instead, I have asked him to go with me. I just don't want to do that much driving alone, and I also don't want to be without him for the weekend. I have always loved being with my husband, but this is a new feeling for me of having to be with him.

Thanks for reading and I hope you are having a great summer!

~ Katie

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