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What Stands Between Us And Our Dreams?

Sometimes I think about what the future might hold for me. Personally, I hope I live to be 100, productively, creatively, meaningfully, in excellent health, with no more trauma or loss in my life. (Don't you?) And as you know, I would also like to raise children!

Life has a way of taking interesting turns. In my life, some of these have been shocking and painful, some of them have been wonderful. Sometimes I think about what would constitute "the worst thing that could happen to me". Do you ever wonder about that? I personally feel what people suffered in the Holocaust, losing their precious children, loved ones, and their own lives, to the hate of other human beings, is the worst. But do you know what? There are people who survived those experiences with courage, integrity, forgiveness, and joy. This leads me to believe that there is no external "worst experience" that could happen to me. The worst thing that could happen would be if I ceased to try my best to live with love, integrity and courage; if I lost my faith in life and my higher power and myself; if I gave up.

I've recently read some incredibly inspiring stories on the Internet about men and women who pursued their dreams despite incredible hardship and handicaps. Now some of these inspiring stories are on our own Journal Pages! Other Internet stories include Wilma Rudolph, the Olympic champion who triumphed over physical disability, the many inspired learning disabled people who have overcome their learning disabilities and tapped into their creative gifts, and other artists and creators and achievers who have conquered various obstacles to achieve their goals.

Sometimes I get discouraged on my journey to build a family. Once in a while someone who does not really understand infertility will say that maybe this is God's way of telling us we are not meant to be parents, that we should use our love for children in other arenas. What if Edison had decided that his learning disability was a sign that he should just hang up his dream of being an inventor? What if Einstein had given up for similar reasons? What if Winston Churchill had believed what his teachers and family believed: that he was dull to the point of being unemployable? What if Louis Pasteur's visual impairment made him feel that life was trying to tell him that detailed laboratory work was just not for him? What if the Olympic stars that started off crippled (Wilma Rudolph, Walt Davis, Shelley Mann, Karoly Takacs) decided that athletic achievement was not for them? What if Abe Lincoln had let his incredibly long list of failures sidetrack him from his dreams? What if the musical geniuses and composers who were told they had no musical ability gave up their music? When I ponder these histories, I realize all that stands between me and my dreams is more time, effort, persistence, and courage. We will get there!

In the meantime, I have no news on the egg donor or adoption front. I've really enjoyed the emails I have received from you! Please feel free to correspond with me, and share your thoughts.
Kay Grames

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