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Kay's Family Building Journal

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Entry Twenty-three
December 25, 1997

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Happy Holidays To You

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Merry Christmas, and happy second-full-day-of-Chanukah to you! Today I start my shots of Lupron, in preparation for the egg donor cycle. This is a very merry Christmas present for me. It is possible that we might have a baby in the house come next Holiday season. I am really pleased about this prospect. This holiday is not as painful for me as some have been. I have more confidence that I will have a child (either through egg donor or adoption) sometime in the not-so-remote future. We had a nice family Christmas, and it really was not too bad. It is hard to believe that four Christmases ago I was six months pregnant with Nicholas, and had presents under the tree for him too. I have experienced less pain with this memory this year, as the healing process continues.

I hope your holiday season went tolerably well also. Holidays seem to be so difficult for so many reasons. Infertility patients find them challenging, because it is a child-centered time and a family time. People who have lost a child experience them as difficult because one's child is so clearly and painfully absent. I know people with all sorts of life experiences find them painful for other reasons! I am glad for people who find meaning and joy in this season, and hope that both you and I can grow more fully into that experience as time goes on.

I have mentioned that one of my most cherished dreams is to be able to raise children. I know you have dreams also. I hope that we all are able to move closer to the realization of our dreams in the year ahead!
Kay Grames

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