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Kay's Family Building Journal

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Entry Thirty-seven ~ August 15, 1998

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Can You Believe This?

I am not even sure where to begin! The last few months since my negative pregnancy test have been very busy. Immediately after our egg donor process failed, we initiated our adoption process, and were scrambling trying to prepare our home for the home study. I also increased my work hours to forty hours/week. Since I am also involved in a number of other pursuits, I have been extremely busy. In fact, I have been so busy I am not doing any one thing well, so I will be scaling back my work hours a bit. I am beginning to forget things, and am letting things fall through the cracks. We have had a flurry of activity. My husbandís eighteen-year-old cousin from Japan stayed with us for a few months. (She also stayed with my Mother-in-Law). I also celebrated my twenty-year wedding anniversary in June, with a big party at our local art center. It was so much fun. I did all the cooking, and my band performed as well. In addition to all our adoption preparations, I am still volunteering, am still teaching music lessons, and doing some other miscellaneous jobs. In addition, there have been quite a few smaller events and situations that have kept me hopping.

However, our family building pursuits remain our top priority. We passed our home study a few weeks ago! I was so nervous about the study. I was compulsive about getting our house as clean and as "perfect" as it can be. I was so relieved when we passed. Although everyone tells us we will be great parents, I just did not know if an adoption agency social worker would have the same perception!

Now, are you ready for some incredible news? Before we even sent back our activation fee, we got a call from the adoption agency. We have a potential match for a birth mother who is due in about a month. This involves a very volatile and complex family situation. This is one of those human dramas that out soaps the soap operas. It is a long, sad, intriguing story. We drove three hours to their city last week to meet with them, and the birth parents did not show up. They have already had prospective adoptive parents step away from this match. The social worker said this has been an extremely challenging case for her. We will try one more time to meet with them, next Sunday. We are willing to ride the process out, to see what happens.

The social worker estimates that there is somewhat better than a 50/50 chance that the birth parents will actually go through with the adoption. (Believe it or not, this is not a "legal risk" adoption. Either both parents sign their papers, or they do not. If they do not, there is no adoption. If they do, their rights as parents are terminated by their choice). I will keep you posted on how this plays out. In the meantime, keep these two young people in your prayers. I think that they are basically good kids, who have had hard, unstable lives, and who are having difficulty figuring out how to grow up.
Kay Grames

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