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Entry Forty ~ April 1999

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A Whole New Style

Elizabeth is seven months old today! This is really hard to believe. My little baby girl who two-blinks-of-an-eye ago was such a tiny little peanut, is twenty-one pounds and twenty-seven inches of personality-plus. She is so very spirited and expressive. She is such a joy. I can't imagine life without her. She is doing many really cute things such as "singing" and enjoying pounding on the piano and making tidal waves in the bath tub. One of the really funny things she is doing now is exploring tags. I never realized that just about everything with a fabric component has a tag. We are looking at tags many times a day. Elizabeth will look over a stuffed animal (or wash cloth, or towel, or clothing, or whatever) until she finds the tag. Her eyes get big, she examines the tag for several minutes with rapt attention, and then tries to get the tag into her mouth for the taste test. If I show her two stuffed animal tags at once, her eyes are absolutely huge, and she starts squealing and bouncing in her seat. Sometimes I wonder if she is looking for her own tag!

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It has been a challenging several months, as I was a sick working mother of a sick baby for about ten weeks (a series of colds, bronchitis, ear infections, a week of pretty severe stomach virus which is scary in a baby, and so on. We just couldn't get on top of it). And, my mother-in-law has needed some assistance as she recovers from her serious illness. Work has also been challenging. I've got other irons in the fire (teaching piano, being a leader in my neighborhood association, etc) that have taken time as well. It has been a little difficult in that I haven't had an uninterrupted night of sleep for seven months, and since Elizabeth is what her pediatrician terms "very demanding." I have had precious little down time, time to think, time to sort through what these major transitions mean to me. I've felt very tired and stretched thin due to this.

I was explaining to an close acquaintance, who has chosen not to have kids, that I haven't had much time for phone conversations these days, thus had not been very responsive to her calls. She said to me "Kids really put a crimp in your style, don't they!" I did not really know how to respond to that, until we got off the phone. It hurt me to even think that thought. No, I haven't been pursuing much in the way of recreation these past seven months. Even though this will change, there will always be a little person whose well being will of course come before hobbies or phone calls or "my style." Life is so different than my pre-Elizabeth days. Even though I have an idealistic bend, I never thought that I could be this happy, or that things could feel so very right and wonderful. No, Elizabeth hasn't put a crimp in my style! She has given me the happiest style I have ever known, that parenthood style I've been seeking for so many years. There is no crimp here. She has given me a whole new style!
Kay Grames

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