~ So Tired
I've been absolutely exhausted this week. It just keeps getting harder to sleep, and it hasn't helped that Ella hasn't been sleeping well either. I'm not sure what's been disturbing her, but clearly something is making her upset. She's been cutting her last two canines, and we've all been fighting colds and sore throats, plus she complains about needing diaper changes a lot - so maybe it's a combination of things. This morning she was up at 4:30, screaming and having temper tantrums every time I tried to get her back to bed. Eventually I brought her (and my pillow) downstairs and, after the Baby Advil I gave her kicked in, managed to get her to fall asleep on the couch with me. Still, I'm a bit of a zombie now, so bear with me if this journal entry is a bit disjointed.
Aside from not sleeping well, Ella's behaviour has been off lately. I don't know if it's also a result of some mystery ailment, or whether she's just getting ever closer to the "Terrible Twos," but she's been very clingy (especially when it's time for me to cook) and been having temper tantrums galore. I've been doing my best to cope with her, but the less sleep I get, the harder I find it to exercise patience. Sometimes I just feel like such a bad mom, but I know I'm doing the best that I can. I'm definitely looking forward to being done with this pregnancy, though, and getting some energy back. I know I'll be pretty sleep-deprived for the first while, but fortunately Aaron will be home for the first two months to help me. I'm sure Ella's behaviour won't be getting any better once there are new babies to be jealous of, but at least I'll have someone to help me deal with it.
This week hasn't been all bad, though. We had my baby shower on Saturday and it was awesome. I got four or five meals for our freezer, plus a gift certificate for a company that makes homemade frozen dinners. We also got several bags of diapers, and some random baby items that we needed (gripe water, infant rattles, etc) so we're pretty well set for when the twins arrive. It ended up being a pretty small party, since my out-of-town friends couldn't make it, but it was a lot of fun. We ate tasty food and chatted and watched the kids play. Aaron got some great photos of Ella kissing my belly and of the two of us comparing bellies.
And speaking of comparing bellies - my friend who is 36 weeks was at the shower, and my belly is already bigger than hers! I'm going to be so huge. I feel like the weight is just piling on right now. I'm already up 35 lbs, and closing in quickly on 40. Yikes! I just hope it comes off as easily as it's going on.
Other than that, this has been a pretty uneventful week, pregnancy-wise. The boys have been moving around like crazy. Sometimes it only takes two minutes to get my 12 kick counts done! Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that the left baby (known so far as Baby B) is now breech again, and lower than his brother (technically that now makes him Baby A - whoever's closest to the "exit" is A, although so far A has always been on the right, and B on the left). Hopefully he'll turn vertex again soon, or at least let his brother regain the title "Baby A." Oh well. Nothing to do but wait and see where they are at this week's ultrasound/OB appointment.
I can't believe I'm finally in the third trimester. If the twins were born today they'd have a 90% chance of survival. And by 33 weeks my doctor says they'd probably have no lasting ill effects. I'm expecting them to go at least 37 weeks, what with my history (Ella had to be induced at 42 weeks), but I'm hoping it won't go much longer than that. In fact, I might start begging for an induction at that point. I'm already pretty uncomfortable - my back aches, my belly strains when I pick up Ella, and my walking has been reduced to a slow waddle (and only short trips, at that). I can't imagine what shape I'll be in in another eight weeks (although I'd guess round :P)