My name is Kelly and I am thrilled to be sharing my pregnancy journal with everyone. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins. I never thought I would actually be able to get pregnant so I find myself very emotional knowing that I am writing a pregnancy journal - it seems very surreal to me. I thought it would be best if I recap my journey through infertility and my pregnancy to this point.
My husband Matt and I were married in October 2000 and we started trying to conceive a few months after the wedding. We were so excited to start a family. After a year of trying, our frustration started to grow and we both went to get initial testing done. Over the next year, we went from doctor to doctor trying to determine what could possibly be causing so many issues - we heard keep trying, it will happen, you are too stressed out, go on a vacation, and the list goes on an on. After two years of active trying with no results, we went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist who immediately suggested that I could possibly have Endometriosis based on my symptoms. A Laparoscopy was scheduled for November of 2002 and we found out that I had severe Endometriosis. Our doctor told us that conceiving without medical intervention would be virtually impossible given the severity of the Endometriosis. After numerous failed procedures (IUI's) we decided to move on to In vitro fertilization.
I am not sure anything can prepare you for the emotional and physical toll that IVF does to your body. Never in a million years did I think I would allow my husband to give me a shot with a three-inch needle in my bottom. We did two failed cycles of IVF which was devastating - all along our doctor said he thought IVF was the magic bullet for us and it was horrible to have the first two cycles fail. We started to consider other paths to parenthood and began researching adoption. It seemed that our dream of having a child together was just not going to be possible. We decided to try a third IVF in November of 2003 - our plan was to move forward with adoption if the cycle did not work. I kept a sign taped to my computer during this time that read "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is none of our business."
To our complete amazement and absolute shock, we found out on December 17, 2003 that we were pregnant. I couldn't believe it when the nurse called to tell me it was positive - I called my husband at working crying my eyes out. Never in a million years did we think that this would work. Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with but it taught me a few things that I didn't realize about myself and my marriage. I realized that I was a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for and that my drive to be a mother was an incredibly deep urge that I could not shut off. I also saw how strong my marriage was - my husband and I spent many nights together talking about our life and our future and he held me for days and weeks when I could barely keep going because I was so distraught over our failed procedures. Infertility taught me how precious my life was - you never know what can happen and we truly don't have control over anything that happens to us. My husband and I learned to just keep moving forward despite incredible obstacles and we learned that loving one another through difficulties was much more important than the end result. We drove 2 hours in a blinding snow storm for our last procedure on December 6th - unbeknownst to us, that was the day our son and daughter entered our lives.
We found out we were having twins at our 6 week ultrasound on January 3, 2004. We were so excited to be having twins because we knew how hard it was for us to get pregnant but at the same time I was a bit nervous because a twin pregnancy is much more high risk. The first twelve weeks of my pregnancy were filled with joy and fear - when you try for three years to get pregnant and do three IVF's to get there, pregnancy can be fraught with anxiety. Our 8 and 11 week ultrasounds showed our little ones were still going strong.
Our 18 week ultrasound on March 22 showed our son and daughter in clear view. Both looked very healthy and measured perfectly. They did find a tiny Choroid Plexus Cyst in our son's brain which initially really frightened me but the specialist reassured us that most often these cysts are a normal part of growth. If there were other markers present than the cyst could be a sign of more serious problems but he felt as is everything was fine. Now my challenge is to not spend the rest of my pregnancy worrying about my little boy. If I have learned anything over the last three years, it is that worrying and analyzing never change the results. Next week I plan to write more about the process of getting ready for our twins to arrive.