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Week 19 ~ April 2, 2004
~ We Have Names!

I still can't believe I am nineteen weeks pregnant with twins. The past week has been somewhat eventful. I got sick with a stomach virus and spent last Friday night in the hospital getting Intravenous fluids because I couldn't hold anything down. The twins made it through just fine - I was the one who was quite sick. I did not like being confined to bed for the weekend but it was for the best - my husband took great care of me.

Names
We have decided on names for our little ones. Baby A will be Eddie Francis - named after my father and Matt's dad. Baby B will be Anna Faith. It was toss up between Faith or Anna for the first name but I just love how Eddie and Anna sound together. Sometimes I sit and think about what they will look like and how big they will be.

Rest, Rest, Rest - Water, Water, Water

The most important focus I have with this pregnancy is getting enough rest - with twins it is critical to get rest and keep things as low key as possible. My main priority is getting these two babies to a great weight before they are born. If I can sit instead of stand - I sit. If I can lie down instead of sit - I lay down. It is so important for me to make sure I am rested and relaxed so no prenatal yoga, exercise or strenuous activity for me. My dream of being a physically active, on-the-go pregnant woman is out the window. I do miss the physical activity but I figure these two will keep me very busy when they are born.

My other focus is getting enough water. Of course drinking tons of water means I spend a lot time running to the bathroom but it's worth it. The water keeps me "regular" and is great for the little ones. I have started to add in some Gatorade to the mix also - sometimes it's nice to have some sort of flavor because the water is so boring.

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Movement, is anyone there?
I feel so goofy when people ask me if I have felt the twins yet because my answer is always "I think so." I am not sure if I am feeling them or not because this is my first pregnancy and I have so many stretching pains all over. I think I feel Anna in the morning pushing up at my belly button area - we know from our ultrasound that she is directly beneath my belly button. Eddie is down low on the left side and I tend to feel more sensation there after I eat. I am hoping it becomes clearer soon. I am anxious to feel them moving all the time.

Anxiety and Fears
I have been working pretty hard to not indulge myself in a bunch of needless fears. When you try as long and hard as we did to get pregnant the fears creep up on you when you least expect it. Personally, I know three people who lost a twin pregnancy around five months so it is hard not to compare myself to them. It is important for me to recognize that all I am promised is this very moment so I try to keep focused on being happy and grateful without anticipating doom. I do have a heartbeat doppler here at home that helps me keep pretty calm. One thing I can say with certainty though is that many people are not helpful. I just said to someone the other day that I was having some strange cramps. She responded with "well, be careful because my friend just had early contractions and ended up in the hospital." Well, okay thanks for sharing. There are some things you just don't say to someone who is pregnant after years of Infertility - we are a nervous bunch to begin with and it's important for people to realize how nerve wracking it is to be pregnant after a long period of struggle.

I am proud that I haven't worried too much about our little Eddie's Choroid Plexus Cyst. I know that the chances that something is wrong are very slim so I try to keep my mind off it.

Weight Issues
One thing that many people don't know about fertility drugs is they can cause weight gain. I was on some type of fertility medication for 10 months straight so as a result I gained 25 pounds before I even got pregnant. I used to cringe when I would hear pregnant women complain about their weight when I was in the middle of exhausting infertility procedures but I do have to say weight has been a small concern for me. I hate that I would even worry about something that I consider to be trivial but sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a stranger's body and I know I will only get bigger. I stop worrying when I think of the years spent in despair wishing we could be like normal couples and hoping to be pregnant. Weight is the least of my worries so I am trying not to think about it. To date, I have gained about 19 pounds which isn't too bad for a twin pregnancy.

All in all it has been a good week - I am anxious to get to week 20. I set up certain milestones in my head with this pregnancy and 20 weeks has always been a goal for me - it feels nice to finally be so close.

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